Letters from a Stoic 115 - On the Superficial Blessings

On the Superficial Blessings

The superficial blessings, of which Seneca discusses are riches and power.  The rub of the letter appears towards the end, where he notes that we should consider the prayer of those who possess riches and power.  If we could be a fly on the wall of those who possess such things, when we hear them pray, then we would know that these "blessings" are indeed superficial.  The gist of the letter is: be careful what you ask and prayer for.

The beginning of the letter discusses one of the important aspects of writing.  We write to impress upon our minds.

You should seek what to write, rather than how to write it – and even that not for the purpose of writing but of feeling it, that you may thus make what you have felt more your own and, as it were, set a seal on it.

He returns to the topic of 'style' and calls certain styles defects.

Style is the garb of thought: if it be trimmed, or dyed, or treated, it shows that there are defects and a certain amount of flaws in the mind.

Then he tries to paint a picture of a virtuous soul and how if we saw such a soul, we would be enamored by them, rather than by riches and power.  Note the various virtues in the passage below (I've italicized them).

If we had the privilege of looking into a good man's soul, oh what a fair, holy, magnificent, gracious, and shining face should we behold – radiant on the one side with justice and temperance, on another with bravery and wisdom! And, besides these, thriftiness, moderation, endurance, refinement, affability, and – though hard to believe – love of one's fellow-men, that Good which is so rare in man, all these would be shedding their own glory over that soul. There, too, forethought combined with elegance and, resulting from these, a most excellent greatness of soul (the noblest of all these virtues) – indeed what charm, O ye heavens, what authority and dignity would they contribute!

Later he lists things which cut off our vision of virtue, namely the body, poverty, lowliness, disgrace, unloveliness, the gleam of riches.

We need to become fully grown, rational adults.  We should consider what pleases children, as there is an analog in fully grown adults too.

how contemptible are the things we admire – like children who regard every toy as a thing of value, who cherish necklaces bought at the price of a mere penny as more dear than their parents or than their brothers. And what, then, as Aristo says, is the difference between ourselves and these children, except that we elders go crazy over paintings and sculpture, and that our folly costs us dearer? Children are pleased by the smooth and variegated pebbles which they pick up on the beach, while we take delight in tall columns of veined marble brought either from Egyptian sands or from African deserts

Then too, is status - how much we are driven to gain status among others.  Much of the high status in Seneca's time as well as our own, is mere falsities; it's all rot underneath.

all the famous men whom you see strutting about with head in air, have nothing but a gold-leaf prosperity. Look beneath, and you will know how much evil lies under that thin coating of titles.  Note that very commodity which holds the attention of so many magistrates and so many judges, and which creates both magistrates and judges – that money, I say, which ever since it began to be regarded with respect, has caused the ruin of the true honour of things; we become alternately merchants and merchandise, and we ask, not what a thing truly is, but what it costs; we fulfil duties if it pays, or neglect them if it pays, and we follow an honourable course as long as it encourages our expectations, ready to veer across to the opposite course if crooked conduct shall promise more.

Money, riches, power, fame - these give people status.  We are a culture obsessed with gaining it.  We grab at money and wish to 'go viral' in order to gain a position of status off which to influence others.  We fail to focus on becoming a better virtuous person.  We fall into the trap of thinking that by gaining status we help ourselves and others, when in fact we perpetuate the problem of producing "style" on the outward, while we rot on the inside.

Most likely, our parents, or teachers, or co-workers or friends trained us to think this way.  The culture of "prosperity" rolls forward and an entire nation, which argues over virtually everything, will agree on this one thing.  It will take an exceptional effort to overcome the desire infection.

Our parents have instilled into us a respect for gold and silver; in our early years the craving has been implanted, settling deep within us and growing with our growth. Then too the whole nation, though at odds on every other subject, agrees upon this; this is what they regard, this is what they ask for their children, this is what they dedicate to the gods when they wish to show their gratitude – as if it were the greatest of all man's possessions! And finally, public opinion has come to such a pass that poverty is a hissing and a reproach, despised by the rich and loathed by the poor.

He quotes Ovid and this one part stood out to me:

All ask how great my riches are, but none

Whether my soul is good.

Seneca continues,

What tears and toil does money wring from us! Greed is wretched in that which it craves and wretched in that which it wins! Think besides of the daily worry which afflicts every possessor in proportion to the measure of his gain!

...

though Fortune may leave our property intact, whatever we cannot gain in addition, is sheer loss!

And here is the part of the letter where Seneca asks us to consider the whole perspective of those who chase greed.  If we could peer into their souls, me may not then desire riches and power.

Do you think that there is any more pitiable lot in life than to possess misery and hatred also? Would that those who are bound to crave wealth could compare notes with the rich man! Would that those who are bound to seek political office could confer with ambitious men who have reached the most sought-after honours! They would then surely alter their prayers, seeing that these grandees are always gaping after new gain, condemning what is already behind them. For there is no one in the world who is contented with his prosperity, even if it comes to him on the run. Men complain about their plans and the outcome of their plans; they always prefer what they have failed to win.

What is the cure for greed and this desire infection?  Philosophy.

philosophy can settle this problem for you, and afford you, to my mind, the greatest boon that exists – absence of regret for your own conduct.

...

Let words proceed as they please, provided only your soul keeps its own sure order, provided your soul is great and holds unruffled to its ideals, pleased with itself on account of the very things which displease others, a soul that makes life the test of its progress, and believes that its knowledge is in exact proportion to its freedom from desire and its freedom from fear.

Letters from a Stoic 87 - Some Arguments in Favour of the Simple Life

Some Arguments in Favour of the Simple Life

There are a number of syllogisms and Peripatetic responses to them in this letter.  This is another long-winded, somewhat meandering letter Seneca writes, in order to draw out minute distinctions to support the idea of living a simple life.  I'm going to attempt to summarize this, with some supporting quotes.

I'll frame the letter with some straight-forward questions, which I think take the direct route as to the purpose of this letter.

Do you need riches in order to be good?  The short answer is: no.

Can you pursue riches and still be good? The short answer is: yes; but there are perils along the way.

Are riches evil?  The short answer is: no.

Can riches cause evil?  The short answer is: maybe.

Riches and wealth are Stoic indifferents.  They fall under the category of "not up to us."  True, one may pursue riches and gain them and still be virtuous; but they can also be taken away through Fate and Fortune.  Regardless if we pursue and attain them or if they fall by chance, into our lot, how we demonstrate excellence of character remains "up to us" while the acquisition or removal of wealth is "not up to us."

But, if you are going to pursue wealth, keep in mind that it does not bestow virtue (arete) on you and in the pursuit, you will encounter temptations of committing evils and may be swayed from a virtuous path.

Now to the quotes and some commentary.

"I was shipwrecked before I got aboard." ... the journey showed me this: how much we possess that is superfluous; and how easily we can make up our minds to do away with things whose loss, whenever it is necessary to part with them, we do not feel.

Seneca packed light for his journey and it made him realize how little we need.

the soul is never greater than when it has laid aside all extraneous things, and has secured peace for itself by fearing nothing, and riches by craving no riches.

The fewer things we are in need of, the closer to the gods we move; for the gods need nothing.  This is what the Cynic philosophers hoped to prove.  But so few people could get on board with that lifestyle, the Stoics eased the thinking back a bit and introduced the idea of preferred indifferents.  Many, through the years, have demonstrated how little we need.  Diogenes the Cynic and Henry David Thoreau come to mind.

I have not yet the courage openly to acknowledge my thriftiness. Even yet I am bothered by what other travellers think of me.

This is rich, coming from Seneca.  Should I insert an facepalm or shaking-my-head emoji here?

after you have mentioned all these facts, he is poor. And why? He is in debt.

Not all that glitters is gold.  Do not be so mystified at other people's wealth.  While they may be glitzy on the outside, you better reserve judgement until you see their debts.  Some people can manage debt quite well, to leverage their way to wealth.  But this takes skill and discipline.  Others fall into the traps of debt and then plead for a bail-out.

Next are the syllogisms.

"That which is good makes men good. For example, that which is good in the art of music makes the musician. But chance events do not make a good man; therefore, chance events are not goods."

The unique skill found entirely within the individual is the good.  Through willpower, dedication and discipline, one may become good at a certain skill.  Indeed, they will have to use instruments and tools, but these are incidental to the will.  Under the category of incidentals are chance events.

Seneca clarifies this syllogism:

We define the good in the art of music in two ways: first, that by which the performance of the musician is assisted, and second, that by which his art is assisted. ... he is an artist even without [instruments].

Next syllogism:

"That which can fall to the lot of any man, no matter how base or despised he may be, is not a good. But wealth falls to the lot of the pander and the trainer of gladiators; therefore wealth is not a good."

In sum, chance events are indifferents and therefore not a good.  The good is wholly "up to us."

Seneca adds:

It is virtue that uplifts man and places him superior to what mortals hold dear; virtue neither craves overmuch nor fears to excess that which is called good or that which is called bad. ... what it is that produces the wise man? That which produces a god.  You must grant that the wise man has in an element of godliness, heavenliness, grandeur. The good does not come to every one, nor does it allow any random person to possess it.

Next syllogism:

"Good does not result from evil. But riches result from greed; therefore, riches are not a good."

Good can only result from the will; from within the soul.  If you are going to pursue riches, the reason is important.  If the reason is greed, then you have fallen into vice.  Therefore, getting precise and specific as to the reason for the pursuit of indifferents, matters.

Things which grow correspond to their seed; and goods cannot depart from their class. As that which is honourable does not grow from that which is base, so neither does good grow from evil. For the honourable and the good are identical.

Next syllogism:

"That which, while we are desiring to attain it, involves us in many evils, is not a good. But while we are desiring to attain riches, we become involved in many evils; therefore, riches are not a good,"

The intent of this syllogism is to throw caution at anyone who is pursuing riches.  Seneca later writes:

Riches injure no one; it is a man's own folly, or his neighbour's wickedness, that harms him in each case, just as a sword by itself does not slay; it is merely the weapon used by the slayer. ... Posidonius is better: he holds that riches are a cause of evil, not because, of themselves, they do any evil, but because they goad men on so that they are ready to do evil.

Going back to intent, we need to be crystal clear as to why we would pursue riches.  Riches are indifferent, but it is the use of indifferents which determines excellence or mediocrity of soul.

Next syllogism:

"Things which bestow upon the soul no greatness or confidence or freedom from care are not goods. But riches and health and similar conditions do none of these things; therefore, riches and health are not goods."

 "Things which bestow upon the soul no greatness or confidence or freedom from care, but on the other hand create in it arrogance, vanity, and insolence, are evils. But things which are the gift of Fortune drive us into these evil ways. Therefore these things are not goods." 

It is clear, riches are not goods; they are indifferents.  What is good?

A thing is not good if it contains more benefit than injury, but only if it contains nothing but benefit ... The good, however, can be predicated of the wise man alone.

In sum, it may be easier to check our desires and intent, than to try to justify specious pursuits of riches via rationalization.

it were better to support this law by our conduct and to subdue our desires by direct assault rather than to circumvent them by logic.

Letters from a Stoic 85 - On Some Vain Syllogisms

On Some Vain Syllogisms

It seems Lucilius is looking for proofs in the forms of syllogisms, to support the Stoic claim that living a virtuous life leads to a happy life.  While reluctant to do so, Seneca does offer a few arguments to support the main claim.

I was satisfied to give you a sort of taste of the views held by the men of our school, who desire to prove that virtue is of itself sufficiently capable of rounding out the happy life. But now you bid me include the entire bulk either of our own syllogisms or of those which have been devised by other schools for the purpose of belittling us. If I shall be willing to do this, the result will be a book, instead of a letter. And I declare again and again that I take no pleasure in such proofs.

The first one he tackles is this:

"He that possesses prudence is also self-restrained; he that possesses self-restraint is also unwavering; he that is unwavering is unperturbed; he that is unperturbed is free from sadness; he that is free from sadness is happy. Therefore, the prudent man is happy, and prudence is sufficient to constitute the happy life."

The Peripatetics do not argue for the abolishment of passions, but rather for the moderation of them.  Seneca disagrees and argues against the notion of simply trying to be better than the least common denominator.  He argues for in favor of striving towards sage hood.

how petty is the superiority which we attribute to the wise man, if he is merely braver than the most craven, happier than the most dejected, more self-controlled than the most unbridled, and greater than the lowliest! ... This is speed estimated by its own standard, not the kind which wins praise by comparison with that which is slowest.  Would you call a man well who has a light case of fever? No, for good health does not mean moderate illness.

He later states,

I am not referring to the gradual weeding out of evils in a good man, but to the complete absence of evils; there should be in him no evils at all, not even any small ones.

As I read Seneca's argument on this, I am reminded of the sentiment of aiming for the stars when you wish to go to the moon.

The aim for a practicing Stoic and one who is making progress, is to be a sage.  And while very few may be considered a sage, it nonetheless is a worthy goal.

He then makes a number of arguments for putting down passions and vices urgently and with focus, rather than making little progress across multiple passions and vices.

a throng of such, even though they be moderate, can affect him more than the violence of one powerful passion. ... We could deal better with a person who possessed one full-fledged vice, than with one who possessed all the vices, but none of them in extreme form.

And once you break the habit and over-come passions and vice, you must never let them in again.

Tigers and lions never put off their wildness; they sometimes moderate it, and then, when you are least prepared, their softened fierceness is roused to madness. Vices are never genuinely tamed.  Again, if reason prevails, the passions will not even get a start ... it is easier to stop them in the beginning than to control them when they gather force. This half-way ground is accordingly misleading and useless; it is to be regarded just as the declaration that we ought to be "moderately" insane, or "moderately" ill.

Therefore, work to remove them wholly, and then keep them out.

You can more easily remove than control them. ...  it is easier to keep a thing out than to keep it under after you have let it in.

This idea leads to the next syllogism:

"If a man has self-control and wisdom, he is indeed at peace as regards the attitude and habit of his mind, but not as regards the outcome. For, as far as his habit of mind is concerned, he is not perturbed, or saddened, or afraid; but there are many extraneous causes which strike him and bring perturbation upon him."

This is a recognition of external or "extraneous" causes which may bring fear to the doorstep of his inner citadel.  If the man never allows them (fear, passions) into his mind, he retains self-control and wisdom.

Taking this approach to happiness, a man may retain self-control, temperance and courage, regardless of what lands on his doorstep.  And if this is true, then he may be content and happy with life and what is up to him.

since the happy life contains in itself a good that is perfect and cannot be excelled, if a man has this good, life is completely happy.  Now if the life of the gods contains nothing greater or better, and the happy life is divine, then there is no further height to which a man can be raised.  Also, if the happy life is in want of nothing, then every happy life is perfect ... the Supreme Good does not admit of increase ... so the happy life cannot be increased either.

He then clarifies a notion, in which many do err.  If you always want something else, how can you be happy?

the more prudent he is, the more he will strive after the best, and he will desire to attain it by every possible means. But how can one be happy who is still able, or rather who is still bound, to crave something else?

He rectifies the erroneous thinking:

men do not understand that the happy life is a unit; for it is its essence, and not its extent, that establishes such a life on the noblest plane. Hence there is complete equality between the life that is long and the life that is short, between that which is spread out and that which is confined, between that whose influence is felt in many places and in many directions, and that which is restricted to one interest. Those who reckon life by number, or by measure, or by parts, rob it of its distinctive quality.

This is a profound concept and one which Pierre Hadot discusses in his book Philosophy as a Way of Life.  Hadot quotes Nietzsche (p. 235):

Let us assume we say "Yes!" to one single, unique moment: we have thus said yes, not only to ourselves, but to the whole of existence.  For nothing is isolated, neither in ourselves nor in things.  And if, even once, our soul has vibrated and resounded like a string with happiness, all eternity was necessary to created the conditions for this one event; and all eternity has been approved, redeemed, justified, and affirmed.

Seneca gets more specific about happiness:

Now, in the happy life, what is the distinctive quality? It is its fulness. ... Satiety.

Think about this - do you want to strive towards a limitless list of desires, pursuing a life by checking off desires one by one?  Where does it end? Will you ever be happy?  Or could you be highly discriminating in your pursuit of the most important desire and pursue it?  If you had one desire which brought happiness or an infinite list of desires which may bring happiness, which would you choose?

The answer, as I understand it, is to place your desires on pursuing an excellent character, so as to be beyond the grasp of Fortune and indifferents.  Regardless of having health or illness, wealth or poverty, life or death, you could attain satisfaction and happiness based on your attitude and virtuous soul - this is what Stoicism proposes.

The next syllogism Seneca discusses is this:

"He who is brave is fearless; he who is fearless is free from sadness; he who is free from sadness is happy."

But fearful of what?  Other schools focus on fear of evils and herein we need to unpack what is evil and what is not.

Others may say evils are pain, torture and misfortune.  But to a Stoic sage, evils are not those things.  The sage "believes that the only evil is baseness" or assuming an unvirtuous character.

death, imprisonment, burning, and all the other missiles of Fortune... are not evils.

To the Stoic sage, if you 

Paint him a picture of slavery, lashes, chains, want, mutilation by disease or by torture, – or anything else you may care to mention; he will count all such things as terrors caused by the derangement of the mind. These things are only to be feared by those who are fearful.

He further clarifies what are evils to the Stoic sage.

It is the yielding to those things which are called evils; it is the surrendering of one's liberty into their control, when really we ought to suffer all things in order to preserve this liberty. Liberty is lost unless we despise those things which put the yoke upon our necks. If men knew what bravery was, they would have no doubts as to what a brave man's conduct should be. For bravery is not thoughtless rashness, or love of danger, or the courting of fear-inspiring objects; it is the knowledge which enables us to distinguish between that which is evil and that which is not.

Allowing indifferents to control your state of mind - your happiness - is evil.  It is letting the idea of achieving riches, wealth, fame, glory or letting the idea of trying to avoid poverty, destitution, ignominy, dishonor, control your state of mind.

And to be precise and whole, Seneca also notes this on emotions and feelings.

Yes, he has felt pain; for no human virtue can rid itself of feelings. But he has no fear; unconquered he looks down from a lofty height upon his sufferings.

He continues with the next syllogism, which is related to the preceding point.

"That which is evil does harm; that which does harm makes a man worse. But pain and poverty do not make a man worse; therefore they are not evils."

After using an analogy of a good helmsman or pilot, Seneca concludes the thought with this:

The wise man's purpose in conducting his life is not to accomplish at all hazards what he tries, but to do all things rightly. ... And the more he is hampered by the stress of fortune, so much the more does his knowledge become apparent.

And then he writes this excellent passage on right use of a universe full of indifferents:

the wise man is not harmed by poverty, or by pain, or by any other of life's storms. For all his functions are not checked, but only those which pertain to others; he himself is always in action, and is greatest in performance at the very time when fortune has blocked his way. For then he is actually engaged in the business of wisdom; and this wisdom I have declared already to be, both the good of others, and also his own.  Besides, he is not prevented from helping others, even at the time when constraining circumstances press him down. Because of his poverty he is prevented from showing how the State should be handled; but he teaches, none the less, how poverty should be handled. His work goes on throughout his whole life.  Thus no fortune, no external circumstance, can shut off the wise man from action. For the very thing which engages his attention prevents him from attending to other things. He is ready for either outcome: if it brings goods, he controls them; if evils, he conquers them.  So thoroughly, I mean, has he schooled himself that he makes manifest his virtue in prosperity as well as in adversity, and keeps his eyes on virtue itself, not on the objects with which virtue deals.

We moderns love Marcus Aurelius' quote regarding the 'obstacle is the way', which has been popularized by Ryan Holiday.  But the word "obstacle" causes some to trip up, perhaps.  It implies the traveler is on a path and there is an obstruction in his path and all that the traveler wants to do is continue on the path.  To slightly alter the analogy, we need to get into the attitude and head of the traveler.  Instead of thinking "all the traveler wants to do is continue on the path", we change her attitude to "I wish to show the world how well I travel on this path, whatever it throws in my path."  Now, instead of an obstacle in the way, that big rock is an opportunity for her to show and demonstrate her ability to rock climb.  Now, no matter what is on the path, or if there is sunshine or rain, she demonstrates skill and excellence of attitude, in all circumstances.

In my opinion, the clue to realizing you do not have the correct mindset is to recognize when you are complaining.  The sage does not complain about exile, poverty, illness or death.  Nor is he overjoyed (or complaining) when he has health, wealth, fame and is alive.  The word - the goal - to strive for is equanimity.

Seneca concludes:

So the wise man will develop virtue, if he may, in the midst of wealth, or, if not, in poverty; if possible, in his own country – if not, in exile; if possible, as a commander – if not, as a common soldier; if possible, in sound health – if not, enfeebled. Whatever fortune he finds, he will accomplish therefrom something noteworthy. ...  the wise man is a skilled hand at taming evils. Pain, want, disgrace, imprisonment, exile, – these are universally to be feared; but when they encounter the wise man, they are tamed.

Letters from a Stoic 74 - On Virtue as a Refuge from Worldly Distractions

On Virtue as a Refuge from Worldly Distractions

The good is free and obtainable for all.  It can be found within.  It is independent of external events.  It is we rational beings who choose to embrace it or deny it.  Seneca writes,

he who has in every case defined the good by the honourable, is happy with an inward happiness.

For those who choose not to embrace this wisdom, Seneca describes the mental state they will be in because of their perceptions of external events.

One man is saddened when his children die; another is anxious when they become ill; a third is embittered when they do something disgraceful, or suffer a taint in their reputation. One man, you will observe, is tortured by passion for his neighbour's wife, another by passion for his own. You will find men who are completely upset by failure to win an election, and others who are actually plagued by the offices which they have won.  But the largest throng of unhappy men among the host of mortals are those whom the expectation of death, which threatens them on every hand, drives to despair.

Review the states of emotion: sad, anxious, embittered, tortured, upset, plagued, unhappy, despair.

And why do they feel this way?  Because they place high value in things that are not up to them.  Their expectations are not level with reality.

If (and that is a big, important "if"), you don't place your values, happiness and calm in externals, then you may begin to live an excellent, virtuous life.  But as long as you couple your happiness with externals, your happiness or sadness will not be up to you and it will ebb and flow with Fate.

Whoever has largely surrendered himself to the power of Fortune has made for himself a huge web of disquietude, from which he cannot get free; if one would win a way to safety, there is but one road, – to despise externals and to be contented with that which is honourable.

Seneca sees a similarity in the practice of doles (i.e. welfare or free money or benefits which are distributed) and a person tying their emotions and happiness to Fate.  When the bread and coins are being tossed, the crowds will fight and trample each other to get doles.  If you don't wish to be caught up in a fight or trampled, it's best to leave the area before the doles are tossed!

The most sensible man, therefore, as soon as he sees the dole being brought in, runs from the theatre; for he knows that one pays a high price for small favours. No one will grapple with him on the way out, or strike him as he departs; the quarrelling takes place where the prizes are.  Similarly with the gifts which Fortune tosses down to us; wretches that we are, we become excited, we are torn asunder

You "pay a high price" in terms of your mental quietude and emotions when you associate your soul and character to externals.  You no longer are choosing what is up to you; the externals are choosing for you.  In a word, the price you pay is servitude.

The answer to this predicament?  To leave the doles and externals to the crowds.

Let us therefore withdraw from a game like this, and give way to the greedy rabble; let them gaze after such "goods," which hang suspended above them, and be themselves still more in suspense.

Furthermore, "all wishing [for externals or indifferents] on our part must cease."

Virtue and excellence of soul do not need indifferents.

virtue needs nothing.  Because it is pleased with what it has, and does not lust after that which it has not. Whatever is enough is abundant in the eyes of virtue.

He continues,

one who desires to exhibit [duty and loyalty] must endure much that the world calls evil; we must sacrifice many things to which we are addicted, thinking them to be goods.

He uses the word "addicted" and perhaps that is a strong word to use.  We can possess many of the things he is descrying, but we ought hold the proper perspective.  Indeed, many of these things could be "preferred indifferents."  But while we may prefer them, we must never forget that they are external to us.  We must hold in check our desires and keep them temperate.  If our desires rise to the level of addiction, then we stray into vice.  The Cynics, (who Stoics such as Epictetus looked up to), made a hard line with indifferents.  They would never agree with the idea of 'preferred indifferents.'  But the Stoics moderated a bit and acknowledged that some externals indeed enhance our living in agreement with Nature.  The nuance here is that one may still be a sage and live with excellence of character and be happy while stilling having preferred indifferents taken from him.  The Cynics set out to prove none of these preferred indifferents mattered (e.g. Diogenes the Cynic).

If we desire to live with the gods, then we should live like them - out of reach of indifferents.

God has no enjoyment of the things which are given to us.  For lust pertains not to God, nor do elegant banquets, nor wealth, nor any of the things that allure mankind and lead him on through the influence of degrading pleasure. 

Seneca notes the delineation of the body and the soul.  If we are to reach the Good, we must focus on the rational and not the physical.

Let us limit the Supreme Good to the soul; it loses its meaning if it is taken from the best part of us and applied to the worst, that is, if it is transferred to the senses; for the senses are more active in dumb beasts. The sum total of our happiness must not be placed in the flesh; the true goods are those which reason bestows, substantial and eternal.

Seneca makes the point clear about preferred indifferents.

Other things are goods according to opinion, and though they are called by the same name as the true goods, the essence of goodness is not in them. Let us therefore call them "advantages," and, to use our technical term, "preferred" things.  Let us, however, recognize that they are our chattels, not parts of ourselves; and let us have them in our possession, but take heed to remember that they are outside ourselves. Even though they are in our possession, they are to be reckoned as things subordinate and poor, the possession of which gives no man a right to plume himself. For what is more foolish than being self-complacent about something which one has not accomplished by one's own efforts?

What can we truly call our own?  Our own will, attitude and character.  All else, including preferred indifferents are to be considered subordinate.

Think of preferred indifferents as true externals and as not a part of us.  We should be ready to part with them and they should be so independent that there is nothing of them which could stick to us.

Let everything of this nature be added to us, and not stick fast to us, so that, if it is withdrawn, it may come away without tearing off any part of us. Let us use these things, but not boast of them, and let us use them sparingly.

Wealth and luxury should be handled with great caution, should a Stoic so choose to embrace them.  Seneca warns,

foresight must be brought into play, to insist upon a limit or upon frugality in the use of these things, since license overthrows and destroys its own abundance. That which has no limit has never endured, unless reason, which sets limits, has held it in check. The fate of many cities will prove the truth of this; their sway has ceased at the very prime because they were given to luxury, and excess has ruined all that had been won by virtue.

Ego, decadence and ease have been the downfall of many nations and cities.  In my lifetime alone, I've witnessed California and Michigan go from powerful, wealthy states in the Union, to impoverished and bordering on appearing like a third world country.  One sign of this fall is San Francisco's feces map.  As a kid growing up out west, San Francisco was the crown jewel of California.  Now that city is to be avoided like the plague.  The decadence and lack of discipline and virtue are the cause of these long, hard falls.

While it is relatively easy to swear off preferred indifferents such as wealth and leisure, what about family?  Seneca addresses this claim by setting the stage.

Men say to us:  "You are mistaken if you maintain that nothing is a good except that which is honourable; a defence like this will not make you safe from Fortune and free from her assaults. For you maintain that dutiful children, and a well-governed country, and good parents, are to be reckoned as goods; but you cannot see these dear objects in danger and be yourself at ease. Your calm will be disturbed by a siege conducted against your country, by the death of your children, or by the enslaving of your parents." (emphasis added).

Can you be a good Stoic if you are disturbed by a foreign invasion of your country, the death of your children and the imprisonment of your elderly parents?  What he describes here sounds an awful lot like what many people endured in World War 2.

This is where it can be quite difficult to practice and apply Stoicism.  Could I get to the point of being calm in the face of such Fate?  I suppose.  Would it entail me doing nothing about it?  No.  While I would be forced to accept the fate, part of my accepting it would include doing something to cure the injustice of tyranny.  If I lack calm and rationality because I'm in such a tizzy over these externals being taken from me, then I probably won't be in a good state of mind to do something about it.  But if I practice negative visualization (country invaded, death of children, imprisonment of elderly parents), perhaps I will be able to keep my emotions in check and plot a course of action that would right the wrong, if these events came to be.

Seneca's response may seem a bit cold-hearted, but the point remains valid.  Focus on what is up to you and arete remains unharmed.  You retain your equanimity.

What does it matter if running water is cut off and flows away, as long as the fountain from which it has flowed is unharmed? ... As long as your virtue is unharmed, you will not feel the loss of anything that has been withdrawn from you.

He compares virtue to a circle.  Whether it is large or small, it is still a circle.

Whether you draw a larger or a smaller circle, its size affects its area, not its shape.

It's the shape that matters, not so much the magnitude.

And as you retain your equanimity, you are prepared for action.

It is ever a dishonour for a man to be troubled and fretted, to be numbed when there is any call for activity. For that which is honourable is free from care and untrammelled, is unafraid, and stands girt for action.

The Brits summed up this mindset: Keep Calm and Carry On!

Is a Stoic emotionless?  No.

the sage will retain the firm belief that none of these things [emotions] is evil, or important enough to make a healthy mind break down.  Whatever shall remain to be done virtue can do with courage and readiness.

As for time - future and past - that is not up to us.  Therefore, why let it disturb you?

what is greater madness than to be tortured by the future and not to save your strength for the actual suffering, but to invite and bring on wretchedness? If you cannot be rid of it, you ought at least to postpone it.  Will you not understand that no man should be tormented by the future?  ... In the same way, souls that enjoy being sick and that seize upon excuses for sorrow are saddened by events long past and effaced from the records. Past and future are both absent; we feel neither of them. But there can be no pain except as the result of what you feel.

Letters from a Stoic 60 - On Harmful Prayers

On Harmful Prayers

Recall: a Stoic achieves his own good because it is entirely up to him.  Moral virtue and excellence of character are the sole good.  The rest are indifferents to him.  While some may be preferred indifferents, they are nonetheless not needed to achieve the good.

Observe: what other people desire and pray for.  I'm not familiar with all Christian religions, but having lived Mormonism for over 30 years, I was taught and I believed in what I have come to know as "the prosperity gospel."  In sum, it is the belief that God will help you prosper (i.e. crops, wealth, etc.) if you obey the commandments.  One of the books of scripture for Mormons is the Book of Mormon and in that book, this teaching is repeated over and over again.  The first instance comes from early in the book:  "Inasmuch as thy seed shall keep my commandments, they shall prosper in the land of promise" (1 Nephi 4:14).  For all the other references, one may perform a search on their website using "prosper in the land" and most search results will reinforce the teaching of obedience to God's commandments leads to prosperity (i.e. wealth).

Observe: if a Stoic would pray, he would pray for greater courage, wisdom, justice and temperance.  He would pray to see the world as is really is and that his will is the same as Nature.  A Stoic would probably not pray to God for wealth and prosperity - he would not pray to God to grant him indifferents, preferred or not.  In fact, we can read Cleanthes' Hymn to Zeus and in five particular stanzas, glean correct reason.

..., Thou canst

Make the rough smooth, bring wondrous order forth

From chaos; in Thy sight unloveliness

Seems beautiful; for so Thou hast fitted things

Together, good and evil, that there reigns

One everlasting Reason in them all.

The wicked heed not this, but suffer it

To slip, to their undoing; these are they

Who, yearning ever to secure the good,

Mark not nor hear the law of God, by wise

Obedience unto which they might attain

A nobler life, with Reason harmonized.

But now, unbid, they pass on divers paths

Each his own way, yet knowing not the truth,—

Some in unlovely striving for renown,

Some bent on lawless gains, on pleasure some,

Working their own undoing, self-deceived.

O Thou most bounteous God that sittest throned

In clouds, the Lord of lightning, save mankind

From grievous ignorance!

Oh, scatter it

Far from their souls, and grant them to achieve

True knowledge, on whose might Thou dost rely

To govern all the world in righteousness;

Here is an alternate version of Hymn to Zeus (translated by Frederick C. Grant), one which I particularly like.

Therefore: in this light, we can read Seneca's Letter 60 and understand why he calls prayers for indifferents "harmful."  If others were to pray for me, then I would hope they pray to grant me more wisdom, courage, temperance and the ability to grant justice where it concerns me, but not that I get a promotion or greater wealth.  But we were born in a polluted world that desires indifferents.

Do you still desire what your nurse, your guardian, or your mother, have prayed for in your behalf? Do you not yet understand what evil they prayed for? Alas, how hostile to us are the wishes of our own folk! And they are all the more hostile in proportion as they are more completely fulfilled. It is no surprise to me, at my age, that nothing but evil attends us from our early youth; for we have grown up amid the curses invoked by our parents.

He then gets into humans' boundless desires.  We simply can't or won't check our appetites.  Yet we continue to demand of the gods for more.

How long shall we go on making demands upon the gods, as if we were still unable to support ourselves?

He notes that bulls and elephants need just a bit of land to live on and they do just fine.  But humans comb the world over for food and the delve into the sea and cast up big stores of grain.

Man, however, draws sustenance both from the earth and from the sea.  What, then? Did nature give us bellies so insatiable, when she gave us these puny bodies, that we should outdo the hugest and most voracious animals in greed? Not at all. How small is the amount which will satisfy nature? A very little will send her away contented.

Seneca seems to advocate for a simple life; one that is not dissimilar to Henry David Thoreau when he lived in the woods.  I'm not blind to the needs of people.  Much of the world still faces hunger in the year 2021 and we are still susceptible to famines.  I'm not advocating everyone live like Thoreau, but I think Seneca has a point and we can learn to live rationally and minimally without impacting the environment.  We can make mindful and informed decisions and change our behaviors.

Seneca quips about our desire for excess:

It is not the natural hunger of our bellies that costs us dear, but our solicitous cravings.  Therefore those who, as Sallust puts it, "hearken to their bellies," should be numbered among the animals, and not among men

He talks of food, but I think cravings for all kinds of indifferents applies - cravings for fame, recognition and wealth.

The Stoic aims to help - this is his social duty.

He really lives who is made use of by many; he really lives who makes use of himself.

While others, who do nothing but collect stuff are not really living and we might as well inscribe an epitaph on their fireplace mantel instead of their gravestone.

Those men, however, who creep into a hole and grow torpid are no better off in their homes than if they were in their tombs. Right there on the marble lintel of the house of such a man you may inscribe his name, for he has died before he is dead. 

Commentary on Meditations: B11:16-17

Live through life in the best way you can. The power to do so is in a man's own soul, if he is indifferent to things indifferent. And he will be indifferent if he looks at these things both as a whole and analysed into their parts, and remembers that none of them imposes a judgement of itself or forces itself on us. The things themselves are inert: it is we who procreate judgements about them and, as it were, imprint them on our minds - but there is no need for imprinting at all, and any accidental print can immediately be erased. Remember too that our attention to these things can only last a little while, and then life will be at an end. And what, anyway, is the difficulty in them? If they are in accord with nature, welcome them and you will find them easy. If they are contrary to nature, look for what accords with your own nature and go straight for that, even if it brings you no glory. Anyone can be forgiven for seeking his own proper good.

With each object of experience consider its origin, its constituents, what it is changing into, what it will be when changed and that no harm will come to it.

Stoic indifferents are things that people have no control over.  When we speak of indifferents, we are talking about our health, wealth and possessions, our fame, our avoidance of pain, seeking of pleasure and anything outside of our control.  We have no ultimate control over these things.  What we can control with regard to indifferents is our attitude toward them.  We can be indifferent to things indifferent.  These indifferents have no ability to bust open our mental door to our brain and force us to think and act a certain way.  Rather, it is ourselves who allow our minds to be swayed by these things.  I can look at all the things that happened in the year 2017 (snake bite, death in family, heart operation, home flooding) and I could allow these things to determine my happiness.  Or not ... I could focus on exercising virtue and the discipline of assent and in a sense, create a story to turn these obstacles into valuable lessons.  I hope I have striven and succeeded at the latter.  Ultimately, this life is short and it will all be over soon and none of this will really matter anyway.

The discipline of assent helps us to be indifferent to things indifferent.  Analyze everything and each experience; break things apart, think of where it came from, how it is changing and what it will turn into.  With regard to everything, ask yourself if you have control over it.  This question, more than anything else, greatly reduces anxiety and mental stress because it cuts out so many possible decisions and choices.  It cuts through to the heart of the matter.

(see also Citadel p. 41, 71, 108, 272)

The Year of the Copperhead (the 500th post)

This will be quite a long post.  Feel free to set aside some time to read this; or take a few days to digest it.  It is also an emotionally heavy post.  It may not be an enjoyable read for everyone.  However, in my opinion, it is a worthwhile post and if I'm able to pull it off, you will walk away from it with a stronger dose of humility and a stiff reality check about life.

Job

Job and His Friends by Ilya Repin (1869)

It all began for Job when he lost his oxen and donkeys and servants by the hands of some thieves.  One servant escaped with his life and was able to tell Job (Job 1:13).

Not a moment had passed when another servant came to Job and informed him that fire from heaven (asteroid?  volcano?) had burned all his sheep and servants, except for one, who, escaped with his life and was able to tell Job (Job 1:16).

Immediately after the second servant shared the bad news, a third servant showed up on the scene and informed him that his camels were stolen and his servants killed by a raiding party.  Again, this servant escaped with his life and was able to tell Job (Job 1:17).

No sooner had the third servant finished informing Job, a fourth servant came to tell Job his sons and daughters were enjoying a feast at the eldest brother's home when a tornado formed, ripped through the home and sent the roof crashing onto his children, killing all of them.

If the story is to be believed, in one day, Job lost 7000 sheep, 3000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, 500 donkeys, a large number of servants, 7 sons and 3 daughters.

As if to add insult to injury, Job contracted painful sores on his head and feet (Job 2:7).  Later, Job's friends came to try to comfort him.  But his pain was so extreme, his friends could only sit with him in silence (Job 2:13).

Upon further reading in the Book of Job, we also learn he was mocked and scorned by friends and neighbors and even by his wife.

I'm not going to debate the historicity of Job's story, but rather I want to focus on the question: could it have happened?  Indeed the scale of Job's trials is large, but each of those events have happened to other people.  And if you still don't think what happened to Job could happen to others, there are plenty of examples of hard times which exist all around us today.  They existed 50 years ago; they existed 100 years ago and they will exist in perpetuity.

If It's Happened to Someone Before, It Could Happen Again and It Could Happen to Me

Some stories stick with me.  I often come back to them.  These stories rattle around in my head often.  Not much needs to be said.  I think I can provide the headline and you can imagine the rest.

My grandmother lost her 15-year old son to a tick.  She lost a young baby boy too.  My sister-in-law and my niece both lost a baby.  Friends and other relatives have had still-born children.  My aunt lost one son to stomach cancer and another son to Lou Gehrig's disease; both died in the prime of their lives while my aunt lived well into her 90's.  A nephew took his own life as a teenager.  A mother in our community, backed out of her driveway and accidentally ran over her young child; the child died.  A wife lost her husband after he had a motorbike accident - her young son saw his father crash the bike on the street and witnessed him die.  I was in a restaurant one afternoon.  A mother and her young daughter had just ordered before me and sat down with their food.  I ordered mine and the cashier had tears in her eyes.  She told me that the mother/daughter just lost their husband/father - he had died recently.  The daughter was really too young to understand the situation.  Another wife in the community, lost her healthy, strong husband to a stroke.  He was around age 40.  Their boys lost their dad; my son lost his soccer coach.  My father-in-law - my wife's father ... he died too young and unexpectedly.  More on that later.

A young child at our church beat cancer with treatments.  I hear the treatments are pretty tough.  Another young mother in the community recently told me how her young son is enduring cancer treatments.  A couple of months ago on Facebook, I read of parents laying to rest three of their children after they suffered from juvenile Batten disease.  Another story from my sister-in-law goes that her neighbor's young daughter was sitting at the table during dinner and began to complain that she felt like throwing up, but could not.  She then slumped over and died from a burst appendix.

I read The Republic of Pirates a while back and will never forget one story.  I summarized the story previously: one example the author used to illustrate how bad a sailor's life was, was about this young boy who the captain beat quite savagely for 17 days!  He beat him, whipped him, made him eat his own stool and when the boy finally spoke, he asked for something to drink.  The captain ran to his quarters and then returned with a cup of his own urine and made the boy drink it.  The boy finally died.

The first part of Vikor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning, details the horrors of living in a Nazi concentration camp.  Lots of horror stories from WWII and concentration camps haunt me.

I still remember following the news about and feeling anxiety for Elizabeth Smart and her family, when she was kidnapped and raped over a span of nine months.  I also remember the horror when the news broke on the Ariel Castro kidnappings - gut wrenching.

In September 2017, I watched Otto Warmbier's parents describe seeing their son for the first time since being released from captivity in North Korea.  Their account is harrowing (see here).

September 11, 2001 and 2012 will always be vivid in my mind.  From 2001, the images of the planes crashing into the towers as well as the images of the man and people leaping from burning buildings, still chills me to the bone.  And then in 2012, seeing Ambassador Stevens' bruised, smoked, body being dragged in a street in Benghazi, makes me shudder.  Then there are the mass shootings: Columbine, Sandy Hook, Virginia Tech, Aurora Colorado, Orlando night club, D.C. Sniper, Ft. Hood 2009 & 2014 ... Las Vegas ... the list goes on and on.  These are just the ones that have stood out in my memory.  Not to mention the other terror attacks in London, Barcelona, Norway, Russia, India ... all over the world.  It truly is endless the list of terror attacks and mass shootings.

Weather happens; and anywhere you live, nasty weather can pop up.  Tornadoes, hurricanes, strong wind, abundant snow, ice storms, flooding, drought.  Our family has lived through tornado warnings in Dallas and Houston.  Just weeks after we left Dallas, a tornado ripped through our old neighborhood.  Then in 2011, after enduring a searing, hot summer drought in Houston, my kids had to hunker down in their school when a tornado tore across our community in November.  Then there are the major natural disasters.  To name a few that remain in my conscious: Mt. St. Helen's, Indian Ocean Earthquake & Tsunami of 2004, Japan 2011, Katrina, Ike, Irma, Maria, Harvey ... more on Harvey later.

Of course we can't forget about wild animals and their interactions with humans.  Some of those interactions are still fresh in my mind.  My sister fainted when a rattlesnake slithered over her foot.  Mountain lion attacks in California and cougar sightings in a business park in Utah.  I don't have too many details, but I seem to recall my brother going on a bear hunt in Alaska and killing one!  I might need to ask him about that someday.  Living in a forest affords many opportunities to see wild animals.  Several years ago I battled armadillos who tore up my grass and yard, digging for grubs and such.  I think I killed about half a dozen armadillos that year.  Our neighbor was walking her two schnauzers in the park next to our home when she happened on a coyote.  The coyote attacked her small dogs leaving them nearly dead.  The neighbor escaped with no injuries.  My wife, one day, just finished a walk and was getting the mail when a coyote emerged from the forest and was eyeing our schnauzer.  We often see deer and buck on our walks.  One baby deer got stuck in our backyard.  She couldn't escape and when my wife went to investigate, the doe tried going though a small opening between our fence and side of our house.  She got herself wedged really tight and was crying.  Jill pulled the fence down (it was sagging already) so the deer could escape.  Raccoons are quite the characters and have taught us the need to always keep garbage in the garage and to not put the garbage out until the day the trash gets picked up.  Every night on my home camera I see raccoons walking through the driveway and back yard.  Possums also frequent our neighborhood, but are far less bothersome than raccoons.  Bats come out at dusk.  In the summertime you can see them swooping through the air eating insects.  One morning on a walk, I had one swoop around me several times.  It really freaked me out how often and how close it came at me.  On another occasion, a bat swooped on my wife and I while we were on a walk.  People have been bitten by bats and contracted rabies.  Some have died.  Every winter, we get turkey vultures.  They come from the north and roost on the roofs and trees.  It is very similar to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.  The most destructive wild animal in our area are feral hogs.  They will absolutely ravage a yard - like a plow.  Grass, plants, bushes - all are devastated by hogs. We even have alligators near our home.  I've only ever seen one alligator in the lake near our home.  And I was only able to see it through binoculars.  Then there are the snakes: the garter snakes, yellow-bellied rat snakes, tree snakes, king snakes, and then the venomous ones: moccasins, rattlers, corals and copperheads.  I've seen one dead rattlesnake; one water moccasin, four corals and countless copperheads.  More on copperheads later.

Markets and keeping a career can be volatile.  Of course many know of the Great Depression in the 1930s.  Growing up, I often heard my parents discuss how they were dealing with tough times in the late 1970s and early 80s.  I read an op-ed of a man who was laid off in 2004 after working with a major company for 25 years - too young to retire, too old to get another job ... it was the same company I work for today.  Enron was eye-opening.  We have friends who worked for Enron ... one day they were well-to-do, the next they had no retirement savings or pension to draw from.  The Dot Com Bubble ... I narrowly escaped that while some of my friends I graduated college with did not.  I often think of a manager named Rich O'Connor.  He was a senior manager who interviewed me.  After I landed the job and after working a few months for the company, I was shocked to hear that Rich, who was about to retire, drove home one day, pulled into the driveway, experienced a heart attack and died.

You see?  Who needs the Book of Job when you have all these stories to draw from?  If any one of these things happened to someone (and they veritably did), then it could happen to me and you.  That is an important lesson to remember.

A Word About Copperheads

We live in a cul-de-sac near a heavily forested park.  We get snakes in our yard quite a bit.  Most are harmless, but we do see the occasional venomous snake - it's almost always the copperhead.  Usually, the time of year we see the snakes is between the end of April and beginning of May.

Our first encounter with a copperhead was in 2013, when my daughter left the back door ajar.  My wife walked in the kitchen, she noted the door was slightly open and a copperhead was slithering in!  She quickly shut the door and pinched him between the door and the door-jamb.  When I got home a few minutes later, I took some hedge clippers and lopped his head off.  It was quite a shock at the time.

Ever since then, we've encountered the occasional copperhead in the garage and in the yard.  Heavy rocks, shovels, brooms, rakes, pellet guns - all effective for dealing with copperheads and snakes in general.  A friend of mine, who deals with and likes snakes, came over one time when we had a copperhead in our garage, and dealt with it.  He took it home and skinned it.  Copperheads don't lay eggs, rather they are one of the few snakes who deliver live babies.  He told me the one he caught in our garage had babies in her.

Copperhead bites aren't 100% lethal.  Usually, people who have been bit by a copperhead suffer pain and tissue damage.  I've done a fair amount of research on copperhead bites and have seen the damage that can be done (images.google.com search: copperhead bite ... don't click the link if you're squeamish).

Coming across any snake in your yard or in the wild can cause your heart to skip a beat or two.  But like anything, the the more you become accustomed to it, the less "shock" you feel.  For me, I always experience that rush of adrenaline, even after the many snakes I've encountered.  I'm minding my business and then - poof - there is a snake sitting there in the garage, or driveway or yard or walking path or street.  There is never an announcement with copperheads (unlike the rattle of a rattlesnake).  He's just sitting there.  There is not much one can do to prevent a copperhead from showing up in your path.  You just have to acknowledge he's there; know he's venomous and then have the courage to deal with him.

The Year of the Copperhead

I've dealt with more copperheads in 2017 than any prior year of my life.  Coincidentally, 2017 has been the wildest year of my family's life, in terms of unexpected events.  Indeed we've experienced lots of challenges, but we've had a lot of wonderfully memorable times too.

Things started off rather mildly and would not otherwise garner my attention, except by looking back on the whole year.  During the first week of January, after coming off a very enjoyable and peaceful Christmas break, our youngest came down with some type of nasty stomach virus.  She was in an abnormal amount of pain, could not sleep at night and really could not eat anything.  My wife had to take her to the ER and our poor daughter needed an IV.  It was a little worrisome at the time, but after about a week, she got to feeling better.

About that same time, I was on an early morning walk and decided to jog a bit.  It was early in the morning and dark and I did not see a bump in the sidewalk and I took a nasty tumble.  I banged up my knee and shattered the screen on my iPhone.  Not a particular great start to the year.

On top of these two events, my wife and I noticed that a small leak under our bathroom vanity had turned into a larger leak.  We finally decided that replacement of the vanity was needed, besides fixing the leak.  After consulting with our friend who is a home designer, we decided we should proceed to not only fix the leak, but upgrade the bathroom.  And while we were upgrading the master bathroom, we decided to fix one of the upstairs bathrooms, which had been leaking on and off for the last eight years.  And while we were at it, we decided to remodel the powder room bathroom next to the kitchen.  Over the course of the next nine months, we met on and off talking about and designing these three bathrooms.

Later in January, my in-laws came to visit us in their new COW (Casa on Wheels).  They stayed for a few weeks and we had much fun with them.  I helped my father-in-law get the TV antennae working, took them on a tour of my work's new campus, watched the kids play basketball games and band and orchestra concerts.  They were gone for about a week to go on a cruise to Mexico, then they returned and stayed until our HOA finally sent us a letter saying their COW needed to be moved from the cul-de-sac.  My mother-in-law flew back to their home and my father-in-law took a long road trip, meandering through Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Utah.

One weekend, we were able to go visit him at the beach next to Galveston (his first road-trip stop of many).  It was a beautiful day on the beach.  The kids got to play in the ocean and my wife and I and him were able to relax and talk.  He fired up the grill and we all ate hamburgers and chips.  A truly memorable experience!  We were so sad to say goodbye to him when we drove back home.

February was unusually warm in 2017.  Instead of typical highs in the 60s, we experienced almost half of the month in the low to mid 80s.  On Saturday February 25, we enjoyed a morning watching our youngest play a basketball game.  Then in the afternoon with not much else to do, I decided to give some of our hedges a trim.  My 12 year old son came out to help me.  After trimming about 4 bushes, we began the clean up.  We took 1 or 2 wheel-barrow loads to the forest.  Working on filling up the 3rd, I reached down to pick up a scoop and got pricked.  I knew there was a thistle-like weed in the pile and at first I thought it pricked me, but then a moment later, I saw the copperhead slither off.  I yelled out, "I got bit by a copperhead!"  I moved my son away from the pile, we went inside, I cleaned the bite and then asked my 15 year old son to go with me to the emergency room.  My two younger kids stayed home.

I drove and had my son look up symptoms of a copperhead bite.  I wanted to know what to expect in the next few minutes to hour.  After ensuring I wasn't going to pass out, I had him call my wife.  She wasn't answering her phone.  He kept trying.

We drove to the local ER at town center.  After talking to the desk attendant, she informed me that they were not equipped to handle copperhead bites.  She said I should go to the main hospital ER 4 miles away.  We got back int the truck and drove to the main hospital ER.

By the time we walked into the ER, the pain was spiking.  They immediately admitted me; stuck an IV in me. At around 1:30pm or so, the pain was excruciating. It felt like a railroad nail entering my palm and exiting out my middle knuckle on the back of my hand. I went into a bit of shock and they gave me morphine. I still felt the pain, but I was more calm at that point. By 2:20pm, the anti-venom was ready. Of all the hospitals in the area, our main hospital is the one place that has anti-venom on hand. It takes about 45 minutes to prepare it (CroFab). I was told the amount they gave me cost about $10K. An hour later, the anti-venom was doing its work and the swelling stopped.

I stayed in the ER until they could get me a room in the ICU. I was about to go to the ICU at 5pm, but someone needed the room more than I did. So I waited in the ER wheelchair from 5pm to 9pm. My wife was there the whole time, so it wasn’t so bad. By 9pm, I was in a bed in the ICU. I took a couple of Tylenol that night for pain – the pain was not so bad by then.

By Sunday morning, I could make a quasi-fist, but the doctor did not like that the swelling still had not gone down enough.  He said they were keeping me in for one more night. All day Sunday, it slowly got better. My skin on the back of my hand went from very tight (could not even see one single wrinkle), to just a normal swell (similar to a sprain). I could make a complete fist Sunday night and by Monday morning, I was texting with just my right hand (although that ‘a’ was a little hard to get to on the keyboard).  The hospital discharged me and I went home,

While I was in the ICU, several nurses were concerned about my heart.  I had a heart flutter / irregular beat sometimes. It was not constant, but would come and go. It started in 2007. I went to a cardiologist in 2007; went through the gamut of tests and was given a clean bill of health – was told to keep working out. Over the last 10 years, I just lived with it; sometimes it was more noticeable than others. I tried seeing a cardiologist in 2016, but the scheduling never worked out and I dropped it.

Saturday night and Sunday morning, the nurse saw what my heart was doing. The doctor was able to arrange for a cardiologist to come visit me and look at my heart. They did an echo cardiogram on me Sunday afternoon. The cardiologist said it was not a major concern and that a cardiac ablation would most likely fix it.  Later in March, I saw another cardiologist and went through some additional testing.  We decided that a cardiac ablation would be the best course of correction.  The procedure was scheduled for July.  More on this later.

After the copperhead bite, I became a bit of a local sensation at work and in my community.  Lots of people wanted to know the details; other people would tell of a story of some dude getting bit by a copperhead and I would say, "that was me."  At work, I had multiple opportunities to present my story and share a safety minute on yard safety and what to do in the event you are bitten by a venomous snake.  In some circles and conversations, my co-workers suggested the snake bite provided positive exposure for me in front of senior management, thus helping boost my career.  I can't fully discount the notion.

I stopped doing major yard work in February and hired a lawn guy.  The first time he came out, he found (I think) the copperhead that bit me.  He killed it.  Thus ended the life of the first copperhead I encountered in 2017.

The copperhead bite wasn't the only event in February that I will never forget.  A couple of weeks before the bite, I celebrated my birthday on a Friday night by going to the high school basketball game.  Our team was having a pretty good year and they were facing their main rival.  It was a somewhat close game through 4 quarters, but our team made a strong push to the end and put themselves in a position to win it.  And win it they did - in fashion!  It was one of the best birthday presents I've received.

53-52 over atrashcocita #gomustangs @chaselovins_ with the final second game winner!!!! @KingwoodBBall GREAT GAME. pic.twitter.com/i7xlvl4NzD

— conner derelioglu (@connerd45) February 11, 2017

As wild as February was, a calm March was welcomed.  Our oldest was able to go with her band to New York City and perform in Carnegie Hall.  The rest of the family enjoyed time off from school during Spring break.  And our family spent some time at the Houston Rodeo.  April was equally quiet, as we enjoyed the warming of spring and the anticipation of the school year wrapping up.  We attended practice events for the end-of-year school programs and choir plays.  My 2nd son and I started a chess club for him and his friends.  And my wife and I enjoyed long spring walks under sunny blue skies.  My oldest son also started his spring-summer basketball league and we were able to travel to a lot of his games and watch him play.

Around the second week of April, I was on one of the greenbelt trails and there on the right side sat a copperhead!  I was able to find a rock and throw it skillfully onto its head.  Thus ended the life of the second copperhead I encountered in 2017.

My current assignment at work is highly cyclical.  For the vast majority of the year, I assist management in developing an outlook for the current year's budget as well as a plan the next year's budget.  There is a lot of work and planning involved.  Every March, the process begins again and gradually heats up until we finish in September.  May is really when the work begins in earnest.  On Monday May 8, after wrapping up a full agenda from our team meeting, I walked back to my desk full of enthusiasm.  I had a lot of work to do that day and week and I was energized to tackle my to-do list.  I had been sitting at my desk no less than 10 minutes when I received a phone call from my mother-in-law.  She could barely speak through tears.  My father-in-law passed away at the young age of 66.  She wanted me to go be with Jill, as soon as I could, so that when she heard the news her father passed away, she would have someone with her.  The news was shocking, to say the least.  I packed my things at work, told my team and manager and then drove home.  I called Jill, but I knew she was teaching her class.  When she called back, I told her she just needed to excuse herself from work and meet me at home.  She asked what was wrong; again I told her to meet me at home.  She asked, "is it my dad?"  I had to tell her at that point - yes.  Silence.

She was at home when I walked in.  Then the tears came.  We spent all morning and afternoon talking, crying, mourning and discussing how best to tell each of the kids when they got home from school.  We told the kids and there were more tears and mourning.

Jill flew home immediately and then about a week after that, the kids and I drove home for the funeral.  The funeral was lovely and tearful.  The burial was on a cold, rainy day in Idaho.  Jeff was a great man and I still miss him as does everyone else.  My last time talking to him was about a week after the copperhead bite.  I was at home when he called me.  I told him all about it and he listened and asked questions.  Then he told me of his adventure he was on.  He was still working his way through west Texas at this point.  He stopped at some RV park that had a nice swimming hole.  He said he'd get in the water and all these small fish and minnows would kinda swarm around him.  It was comical the way he told it.  I miss him.

After we had returned home from the funeral trip, towards the end of May, on a Saturday night, I was walking to my truck around 11pm to go pick up Emma from a friend's home.  There next to my truck in the garage on the driver's side sat a copperhead.  This one truly caught me off-guard and seeing him so close to the truck I get into every day really threw me off and my heart was pounding.  I got the shovel and crushed his head.  Thus ended the life of the third copperhead I encountered in 2017.

June and July were quite busy, but very enjoyable and memorable.  My youngest and I took a quick trip up to Idaho for my parents' 60th anniversary.  We got to commemorate them, play lots of golf and eat delicious food.  Then a couple of weeks later, the whole family drove up to Utah to attend my niece's wedding.  We got to spend lots of time with family and play more golf and eat lots more delicious food.  At the end of June, my oldest passed her driver's test and earned her license to drive.

July brought to completion a 10-year ordeal with my irregular heart beat.  My cardiac ablation was scheduled for the first week of July - everything went as planned.  The only really memorable part was during the pre-op when they were poking me with all those needles.  It was early in the morning and I had been fasting for quite some time.  The nurses were having a hard time finding veins.  After about 4 or 5 pokes, my wife went limp and passed out!  All attention that was on me was diverted to her until she felt good enough to get up and out of the room!  She survived and I turned out just fine ... it took them 7 pokes to finally get 3 IVs in me.  The cardiologist said it was a very routine procedure and everything went well.  The arrhythmia has finally abated and I have never felt better in a long time.  Quite frankly, the toughest part of the whole procedure was the removal of the catheter and then trying to get my digestive system flowing again.  But things sorted themselves out and I fully recovered.

Once I fully recovered, I started testing my legs and heart, by starting my daily long walks again.  One of the very first walks I took was on a stormy July afternoon.  As I often do on my walks, I snapped a picture and posted it to Instagram.  As I look back on that day, those ominous clouds probably foretold a lot more than I realized.  About 40 days after that picture was taken, our lives would really be turned up side down.

We finished July with some fun.  Our youngest child turned 11 and we had lots of friends over for a party.  There was lots of good food, goodies, face painting and swimming.

August gave us two events that we will never forget.  The first event had been anticipated for quite some time: the moon eclipsing the sun for all of North America to see.  My brother, being an astronomy aficionado, knew this day would be here ten years ago.  And he knew it would pass directly over central Idaho.  He made a deal with a lodge owner that he could have a reservation for the normal cost.  The lodge owner agreed.  As August 21 approached, my brother reminded the lodge owner of the agreement, as the prices of hotels all across Idaho skyrocketed due to demand.  The agreement was kept and my brother and his family enjoyed front row seats to the eclipse.  As for me, I was at work and observed the many people on campus trying to catch a glimpse of the eclipse.

One day after the eclipse, right after lunch, I received an email from my manager.  The title of the email, "Undead Hurricane Harvey."  The previous week, back to August 13, Harvey was investigated and then entered the Gulf of Mexico, where the consensus was he was going to die in Mexico.  Then came the email, which quoted a respected weather blogger.

"I think the best case scenario for this weekend is scattered showers and highs in the low 90s.  In the worse case scenario, we have the potential to see some widespread flooding.  Some of the global forecast models have painted rain bullseyes of 10 to 15 inches of rain over parts of the Houston metro area.  Although it is too early to have much confidence in that, this definitely shows the potential for heavy rainfall if Harvey reforms (even into a weak tropical storm) and moves into the central Texas coast.  If heavy rains do come, right now they're most likely from later on Saturday through Monday for the Houston area."

There it was - the beginning of what was to become a series of events that would change our lives forever.

My wife's worries kicked into high gear (thankfully) as she scrambled to buy water and extra food in case we needed to hunker down for the hurricane.  We figured we would get lots of rain and possibly lose electricity for a few days and then things would return to normal.  All day Friday, Saturday and Sunday, we watched Harvey lumber across south Texas and inland.  Then he stopped and headed towards Houston.  All that time, he moved ever so slowly with Houston on the "dirty side" of the storm - meaning we got pummeled with rain.  We thought we'd get a foot or so of rain.  But it didn't stop at 12 inches.  And with every forecast, the amount of rain predictions kept going up.

Sunday afternoon, my son and I walked out behind our home towards the lake to see how far up the water had come.  It was pretty high.  Not as high as the water from the previous spring flooding.  I didn't worry.  In Spring 2016, the water was much higher and I felt confident that nothing would come of it.  But we still discussed "what-ifs".  One of which was, "what if the water comes into our street?"  Our response was, "we'll begin moving things upstairs."

Monday August 28 at 6am, our doorbell rang.  It was our neighbor who came to warn us that our cul de sac had water in it.  I moved all our cars up to the top of the street, where the elevation was 20 feet or so higher.  Then we set about moving all the important things we had to the upstairs.  That took all day.  And as we moved things upstairs, I kept monitoring the water as it crept from the street, to our curb, to up into our driveway.  I used chalk to mark the water line and note the time of day.  It was moving up our driveway inches per hour.

Later in the day on Monday, another friend of ours and his buddy, came and scoped out how high up our house is and how long it would possibly take for the water to reach the inside of our home.  By their estimates and leveraging the East and West fork monitors of the San Jacinto, they said the water might get right up to our doorstep and then recede.  At that point, I figured the worst we would get would be an inch to few inches of water in our home.  So we put the furniture on cans and blocks.

Still more friends came to help us move a ton of food and things, from our place to a friends home.  We figured it would be better to get the kids out while there was light.  With them settled comfortably in a friends home, my oldest son and I hunkered down in our home, hoping the water would recede.

At 6pm on Monday, the water had reached my AC units in the back yard.  At that point, I decided to shut power off to the home.  My son and I then went over to our next-door neighbors, who are on a little higher ground.  We all watched the news and monitored the river levels.  Lake Conroe Dam was releasing a lot of water and the East and West forks continued to rise.

By 11pm on Monday, the water was right up to our door step.  I was still holding out hope.

Two hours later, at 1am Tuesday August 29, water entered our home.  My son and I were still at our neighbors and ended up falling asleep there.  Three hours later at 4am, our neighbors woke us up and said water was coming into their home too.  We needed to get out before we all got stuck.  My son and I went back to our home, waded in the water inside our home (about up to our knees), got our bags, threw them into the kayaks and then paddled up the street and put our stuff in the back of my truck.  Then we went back to our neighbors and helped them get up the street.  I took their cat, who was in his little kennel.  He was scared and freaking out.

Tuesday August 29 was filled with checking on neighbors, helping them put stuff upstairs (as the water was getting close to entering their home too), helping people who tried to drive through the water, dropped off food and clothes for people who were rescued and also checking in on our home.  I lie not - it was tragically depressing walking in our home with water everywhere.  It is a helpless feeling.  My wife broke down in tears and all I could do was to tell her things would return to normal.  When I had the chance that afternoon, I placed a phone call to get our flood insurance claim started.

Wednesday August 30 was the beginning of a long, slow rebound.  The positive news: a phone call from another friend telling us that the water was out of our home!  This was shocking as we figured it'd be days before the water receded.  We drove over to our place, waded down the street (water was still in the street) and checked it out.  We snapped lots of pictures and took video.  It was a start - we could at least get into our home.  Other friends' homes also were empty of water.  The mucking began.  We helped our friends muck from around 10am til 2pm.  Then focus shifted to our home.  From 2pm to 10pm, we mucked, ripped out wet drywall (what a funny expression!) hauled out debris, ripped out doors ... all that.  It was a long day.

From Wednesday August 30 til about Sunday September 10, the daily routine was, get up, eat, muck, eat, muck, eat, muck, sleep.  There were so many homes to muck and so many needed help.  Between keeping things moving along at our home and helping others, we were always busy.  I was especially proud of my oldest son, who worked so hard during these days.  He had a lot of friends whose homes were flooded and he spent a lot of time not only helping us, but helping them.  My other kids did a lot to help too.  They each helped in their own way and they did their best to keep a positive attitude.  The work didn't stop after September 10.  It continued on for the whole month of September, but for our family, we began to focus more on making plans and coordinating work to get our home repairs moving.

For the kids, school got off to a rough start.  They had barely began the school schedule when Harvey hit.  Our kids' high school got hit really hard with the flooding and the entire student body would not be able to use the school.  The school had two options: 1) disband the high school and farm the kids out to multiple schools or 2) pick one of a few awkward schedules and share a high school building with another student body.  Parents and students opted to share the high school with another student body.  Our two older kids began their new schedule of commuting 45 minutes and starting school at 11:30am and getting out at 4:30pm and then commuting 60 minutes back home (extra time due to normal rush hour traffic).  Their days were long, but they learned to adjust.  The middle school and elementary school were not impacted in our area, so our two younger kids were able to go to school with a normal schedule.

The second half of September, we got so much done.  With the help of my pool guy, we turned our pool from brown to blue.  The pool, by my count, had about 15 fishes in it.  After 20 lbs. of shock, they were all floating the next day.  Then we drained, filled, and backwashed repeatedly.  When it got fairly clear, we cleaned the filters and then the pool really cleared up.  My cleaner broke from all the extended use, and I ended up buying a new one.

Contractors began arriving and soon walls were up and floated and mudded.  The dust ... oh the endless dust!  We began working ideas for remodeling the house with our contractor.  What was going to be a 3 bathroom remodel project turned into a whole home remodel.  One of the main ideas was to knock out the wall dividing the kitchen and dining room to make the space more open.  We also worked on re-designing the kitchen layout as well as the office (our oldest son's room).  Plumbers, electricians, carpenters and laborers came.  They knocked out walls, ceilings, re-piped, re-wired, jack-hammered, busted pipes, fixed pipes, moved pipes ... all of it.  During all this flurry of work, one quote from C.S. Lewis kept popping into my head:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

Perhaps that quote soothed my anxiety a bit, in the sense that there is a directing mind over a home remodel just as God is at the helm of a soul remodel.  And perhaps all of 2017 and the seeming chaos of it all, is similar to what C S Lewis is talking about.  It's quite painful to see your home flooded, gutted, ripped up, hammered, chiseled, dirtied and stomped on so much.  But in keeping the greater vision in mind, the whole ordeal is quite bearable - the greater vision being:  knowing that everything will be better than before - more sound - more suited - more loved.

On September 29, I arrived home from work and found a dead copperhead sitting in my driveway!  I asked the workers about it and they said they found it in our garage and killed it.  He was moving a mirror in the garage and the snake lunged at him.  They just killed it and threw it in the driveway for me to see.  I told them it was venomous and he was lucky it didn't bite him!  Thus ended the life of the fourth copperhead I encountered in 2017.

October brought a wind of optimism.  Walls were up, all the debris and garbage were hauled off, we had a plan to move forward and things seemed to be moving along.  Sure, there were bumps and stalls, but overall, a lot of progress was made.

While on a walk on October 4, I came across another copperhead on the greenbelt.  Not sure if I used a rock and branch this time, but I was able to deal with him as well.  Thus ended the life of the fifth copperhead I encountered in 2017.

The highlight of October was seeing the wall between the kitchen and dining room removed and in it's place, a grand cedar beam arch.  On October 18, a big 16 foot cedar beam (16' x 12" x 8") was delivered to our home.  The truck driver, me and one other dry-wall worker helped lift the massive thing off the truck and into the house.  I've never helped lift something so heavy!  The two other smaller beams were much easier to move.  The next day, the carpenter and his crew came.  I pulled up a chair and observed the crew install two temporary trusses on each side of the wall.  Then they tore down the wall.  Next, they cut the cedar beam to size and hefted the big log up.  They quickly put temporary supported beams under it and then they put up the two cedar beams up to form the arch.  That whole exercise took perhaps 3 hours.  The end result was impressive.  Our home was much more open and the smell of cedar wafted through the home.

A few days later on October 22, while on a quiet Sunday morning walk, I found a smallish copperhead in the gutter.  He wasn't moving much and I though he might already be dead.  It was a cool morning too, so that may have been a reason he wasn't moving too much.  But I poked him and he moved.  This time, I found a strong wire from a yard sign and was able to sever his head.  Thus ended the life of the sixth copperhead I encountered in 2017.  He would be the last copper head I came across in 2017.

At the end of October, the day before Halloween, my wife and I get a call from our oldest.  She was a passenger in her friend's car had been in a fender bender.  OK, I thought.  No big deal.  I told my daughter to tell her friend that she needed to exchange insurance information and then drive home.  Then more details emerged.  The car wasn't drivable.  The airbags deployed.  The glass shattered and my daughter got some scratches.  The windshield was massively cracked and buckled.  It wasn't just a fender bender; it was a full blown accident.  Her friend was driving them home from school and was "distracted" and when she looked up, she intended to stop, but got the accelerator and brake mixed up and they slammed into the car in front of them going 35-40 mph.  The car they hit, in turn, hit the car in front of him.

On Halloween, I took my oldest to the neighborhood clinic to have her checked out.  After a check-up and some quick x-rays, it was determined she is just fine,  After two days, she and her friend were back to normal.
Leading up to Thanksgiving in November work continued on the home.  Jill and our contractor were about to take a whole day to visit some kitchen cabinet stores to get ideas for kitchen design when Jill's friend showed her pictures of her new kitchen.  We quickly learned of a carpenter who could build custom cabinets for quite a reasonable price.  Many, many hours later and after lots of discussion and talking of ideas, we had a kitchen design.  We were able to provide the design to the carpenter and get a quote and found it quite reasonable.  Furthermore, he would be able to build closet space for Ben, a bookcase in the living room and hallway and our master bedroom closet and rebuild our stairs.  After seeing some of his work, we were quite impressed and excited to see him start.

Progress on the home continued.  November marked three city inspections (structural, electrical and plumbing).  Thankfully, we have a great plumber, who discovered a gas leak next to the furnace in the attic.  All the walls, except the living room, were finished ahead of the tile guy and carpenter.

For Thanksgiving, my wife's friend offered her home to our family, since they would be out of town the whole week.  It was a much needed break from school, work and reconstruction and it was the first time our whole family was under one roof since August 28.

Jill's friend's home was right across the street from some other friends of ours.  These friends bought a fixer-upper and had been working on it for the last few years.  We took a tour of their home and realized they had been living in a construction zone for a few years, while we will only have to live in a construction zone for a few months!  Naturally, we decided to have Thanksgiving dinner together in their construction zone!  It was quite comical eating in their mostly finished dining room and then watching football on a small TV in the living room with no floor or ceiling!  That night, we drove out to the lake and watched the sun set.  It was a perfect cap to a great day of gratitude!

At the end of Thanksgiving week, we had about a third of our floor tiles cleaned and then had our washer, dryer and second fridge delivered.  We set up our son's bed and made a space for him.  At that point, we were able to get most of the family moved back into our home.  Our eldest stayed with a neighbor, but all the other kids were able to move back into their rooms, while Jill and I used our eldest's room.  We also had the damaged fireplace removed and a new one installed.

Our carpenter showed up the last week of November and began work on the kitchen.  He and his crew were able to fabricate and install much of the kitchen.  Also during this week, work started on repairing the upstairs bathroom.  This bathroom had been leaking on and off since we first bought the home in 2009.  The plumber installed a new shower pan and filled it with water to ensure it did not leak.  After a few hours, I noticed it was leaking through the ceiling.  It was leaking so much, there was a bulge in the ceiling.  I lost it.  On a Saturday night at 11pm, I took a hammer to the ceiling, ripping a massive hole and let all the leaked water out.  I put a bucket on the floor to catch most of the water.  The next day, I told our contractor and plumber that I wanted the ceiling ripped out and the bathroom ripped out and then put it completely back together.  I did not want the ceiling put back together until the bathroom was fully restored and functioning and we verified there were going to be no more ceiling leaks.

With the start of December, we had a few sit-down meetings with our designer and discussed how we were going to push this project across the finish line.  Bathroom tile, in the master bathroom, powder room and upstairs bathroom needed to be completed.  The kitchen needed to be completed.  Base boards and crown molding needed to be installed.  Kitchen tops and bathroom sinks and tops needed to be finished.  The plumbing and toilets needed to be installed and finished out.  And all of that needed to be done before we painted.  We also worked to get quotes on painting the kitchen cabinets, walls, molding and base boards.  Having talked to neighbors, we learned that we simply could not be in the house while painting was on-going - the fumes are too strong.  So we planned to get as much done as possible and then let the painting crew take over while we left town for Christmas break.

December 8 brought a welcome change of scenery.  After a few days of cold, dreary rain, Houston got a skiff of snow!  We woke up on Friday December 8 to snow on the cars and ground!  Our youngest son's birthday was that same day and he got quite a special present with the snowfall!

The tile guy, electrician, drywall crew, plumber, and granite guy worked for three weeks to get things ready.  Things still didn't go quite smoothly.  After getting the bathroom vanity and sink roughly set up, we realized Jill's faucet (which already had the plumbing and tile in place) was too low.  So they had to rip out a few wall tiles and adjust the plumbing.  Jill's kitchen vent hood had also been set up, but afterwards, she realized that it was set at 24 inches high when it should have been 36 inches high; so they had to undo that work and move the vent up and put things back together again.  And one other little minor detail was that there was no outlet for where the microwave would be placed; so they had to figure out a way to deal with that.  Lots of minor and major issues needed to be dealt with along the way in the rebuild process.  But by December 16, things looked pretty good and we were ready to leave town and let the painting begin.

While painting and trim out finished up, we spent our time with family and friends in the cold North.  We got to go to Temple Square; we watched some Weber State basketball; we played lots of basketball; watched the new Star Wars movie a few times; went shopping and got ready for Christmas; spent time with family; ate lots of good food and relaxed.  And despite all the good times, 2017 still had to try our patience when everyone in the family came down with flu-like symptoms during the first few days of our vacation.  Thanks to good insurance, we all were able to see the doctor just down the street and 4 out of the 6 of us were prescribed Tamiflu.  We got our rest and did our best to recover before Christmas day.  For the first few days of the trip, we only got inches of snow and even what little we got, melted.  But on Christmas Eve, we got several inches of snow and on Christmas Day, we got to play in it!  It was a great way to finish out a very tough year.

As I look back on all that has happened this year, a few quotes come to mind.  The first is a quote I referenced in a Facebook Live video I recorded back in September.  It is from Marcus Aurelius and is one of my favorite quotes:

Be like the rocky headland on which the waves constantly break. It stands firm, and round it the seething waters are laid to rest. 

'It is my bad luck that this has happened to me.' No, you should rather say: 'It is my good luck that, although this has happened to me, I can bear it without pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearful of the future.' Because such a thing could have happened to any man, but not every man could have borne it without pain. So why see more misfortune in the event than good fortune in your ability to bear it? Or in general would you call anything a misfortune for a man which is not a deviation from man's nature? Or anything a deviation from man's nature which is not contrary to the purpose of his nature? Well, then. You have learnt what that purpose is. Can there be anything, then, in this happening which prevents you being just, high-minded, self-controlled, intelligent, judicious, truthful, honourable and free - or any other of those attributes whose combination is the fulfilment of man's proper nature? So in all future events which might induce sadness remember to call on this principle: 'this is no misfortune, but to bear it true to yourself is good fortune.'

We are artists in this life and the material we have to work with are other people and their actions and events in general.  How we react to them is the paint on our canvas.  We get to choose how we react mentally and physically.

The second quote is from Seneca and although in the negative form, the point is still valid:

I judge you unfortunate because you have never been unfortunate; you have passed through life without an antagonist; no one will know what you can do - not even yourself.

Again, the perspective is not to view these events as good or bad, but to view them as material to interact with and to prove your virtues of wisdom, justice, temperance and courage.

Epictetus used Hercules as an example of someone who was defined by his adversity:

What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar – and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?

Obviously he would have just rolled over in bed and gone back to sleep. So by snoring his life away in luxury and comfort he never would have developed into the mighty Hercules.

And even if he had, what good would it have done him? What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul, without crises or conditions to stir him into action?

I don't look at the Year of the Copperhead as an unfortunate year.  Rather, I look upon 2017 as a year where I and my family were able to face what life threw at us with a "stiff upper lip" and react with all the required virtues - especially courage.  Moving forward, we will forever be defined by the challenges sent our way and how we reacted to them.  Personally, I am extremely grateful for what has happened this year.  Never before have we had more opportunities to teach our children how to approach, view and manage adversity.  I sincerely hope they will remember this year for the rest of their lives; and more importantly, the lessons they've learned in dealing with tough times.

I hope you've learned something from this post.  Writing it was a very cathartic experience for me and helped me to continue to put life in the proper perspective.  Feel free to leave a comment or reaction and share how adversity has helped you become a better person.