Commentary on Meditations: B12:36

Mortal man, you have lived as a citizen in this great city. What matter if that life is five or fifty ears? The laws of the city apply equally to all. So what is there to fear in your dismissal from the city? This is no tyrant or corrupt judge who dismisses you, but the very same nature that brought you in. It is like the officer who engaged a comic actor dismissing him from the stage. 'But I have not played my five acts, only three.' 'True, but in life three acts can be the whole play.' Completion is determined by that being who caused first your composition and now your dissolution. You have no part in either causation. Go then in peace: the god who lets you go is at peace with you.

This is my final entry on my commentary on Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.  It took me just under one full year to complete this small project (the first entry was Book 1 Chapters 1-4).  His ending chapter does not disappoint and is quite an appropriate topic on which to end: birth and death.

We had no control over our birth; and we will equally have no control over our death.

Therefore, have no worries over death.  Go about life, living in peace, content with your lot in life and focused on living a life according to Nature and virtue (temperance, courage, justice and wisdom).

Commentary on Meditations: B12:33-35

How does your directing mind employ itself? This is the whole issue. All else, of your own choice or not, is just corpse and smoke.

The clearest call to think nothing of death is the fact that even those who regard pleasure as a good and pain as an evil have nevertheless thought nothing of death.

For one whose only good is what comes in its own proper season, who is equally content with a greater or lesser opportunity to express true reason in his actions, to whom it makes no difference whether he looks on this world for a longer or a shorter time - for him even death has no terrors.

The great question: what do you do with your life and all that time?  This is, as Marcus says, "the whole issue."  Everything else is nothing (smoke and dead bodies).  I've been listening to a podcast with Ed Latimore.  In the interview, he talks about this interaction he had with his girlfriend.  He had an anti-education / intellectual attitude and seemed to deride his friend for her scholastic efforts.  She then asked him what he had to show for his life - what could he point to that he had accomplished.  He didn't have anything - he was nothing.  It was at that point he decided to master something.  For Stoics, the question is: how will you use your directing mind?  Wasting away chasing indifferents?  Or pursuing a life of virtue?

In chapter 34 of Book 12, Marcus makes the observation that even those people who chase nothing but pleasure don't even worry about death.  Then neither should Stoics.

In the following chapter (35) of Book 12, Marcus paints a picture of what death looks like to a Stoic.  For a Stoic, he or she is content when things come naturally.  A Stoic is content to express true reason in any opportunity (big or small).  For a Stoic, a long or short life makes no different.  Therefore, there is no fear of death.

Commentary on Meditations: B12:31-32

What more do you want? To live on? Or is it to continue sensation and impulse? To wax and then to wane? To make use of your voice, your mind? What in all this strikes you as good cause for regret? But if every one of these objects is contemptible, go on then to the final aim, which is to follow reason and to follow god. To value these other things, to fret at their loss which death will bring, militates against this aim.

What a tiny part of the boundless abyss of time has been allotted to each of us - and this is soon vanished in eternity; what a tiny part of the universal substance and the universal soul; how tiny in the whole earth the mere clod on which you creep. Reflecting on all this, think nothing important other than active pursuit where your own nature leads and passive acceptance of what universal nature brings.

What is it you want out of life?  To go from one pleasure to the next; from one pain avoidance act to the next; to give into one impulse after another?  Is that what life is really all about?  Or maybe there is something more meaningful?  Could you make use of your voice and mind?  Could you aim at something higher or better?  What is that "final aim"?  For the Stoics, the final aim was living according to Nature.  And the nature of humans is to use reason to live; to accept our fate (follow god) and to no fret or worry about things that are truly out of our control.

What truly matters in life?  To live it according to nature.  And if you need a reminder about how meaningless a lot of things are, consider how small, tiny and minute this moment is; this piece of land you are sitting on - how small it is.  Therefore, in this small fragment of time and space you occupy, accept it and make the most of it.

A quote by the reverend Martin Luther King Jr. reflects this sentiment of acceptance and opinion:

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

(see also Citadel p. 128-129, 173, 180, 184, 267)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:30

One light of the sun, even though its path is broken by walls, mountains, innumerable other obstacles. One common substance, even though it is broken up into innumerable forms of individual bodies. One animate soul, even though it is broken up into innumerable species with specific individualities. One intelligent soul, even though it appears divided.

Now in all the above the other parts - such as mere breath, or that material which is insensate - have no direct affinity to each other: yet even here a link is formed by a sort of unity and the gravitation of like to like. But the mind has this unique property: it reaches out to others of its own kind and joins with them, so the feeling of fellowship is not broken.

In this beautiful and eloquent passage, Marcus observes the light of the sun and how it is one light all over the world, despite being broken by objects.  He applies this idea to one Directing Mind - one animate, intelligent soul, that even though it appears divided by the millions and billions of people, is still unified.

He then observes the same concept with the human body - how the breath, the arms, the legs, etc, all function as one.  And the one thing in common is the mind.  And of all the human parts, only the mind will reach out to other minds and it creates this link with other people.  Such is our social nature and as such, we should live according to nature.

(see also Citadel p. 113, 260)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:27-29

Continually review in your mind those whom a particular anger took to extremes, those who reached the greatest heights of glory or disaster or enmity or any other sort of fortune. Then stop and think: where is it all now? Smoke and ashes, a story told or even a story forgotten. At the same time this whole class of examples should occur to you: Fabius Catullinus in his country house, Lusius Lupus in his town gardens, Stertinius at Baiae, Tiberius in Capri, Velius Rufus - and generally any obsession combined with self-conceit. Think how worthless all this striving is: how much wiser to use the material given you to make yourself in all simplicity just, self-controlled, obedient to the gods. The pride that prides itself on freedom from pride is the hardest of all to bear.

To those who ask, 'Where then have you seen the gods? What conviction of their existence leads you to this worship of them?', I reply first that they are in fact visible to our eyes. Secondly, and notwithstanding, that I have not seen my own soul either, and yet I honour it. So it is with the gods too: from my every experience of their power time after time I am certain that they exist, and I revere them.

The salvation of life lies in seeing each object in its essence and its entirety, discerning both the material and the causal: in applying one's whole soul to doing right and speaking the truth. There remains only the enjoyment of living a linked succession of good deeds, with not the slightest gap between them.

Studying history, in my opinion, does more to help you realize how futile and worthless a large swath of life is.  People pursuing power, riches, fame, immortality ... utterly useless and pointless.  Where are the most powerful, the most famous, the most beautiful, the strongest?  Where are they now?  Dead.  Dust.  Forgotten.

Instead, how much wiser to spend your time and efforts to simply focus on justice, self-discipline and loving your lot in life?  This leads to contentment and peace of mind.

Marcus believed in the gods.  It helped him love his lot in life.

In chapter 29, Marcus summarizes what life is about.

1. seeing things as they really are (and not applying judgement to them).

2. ensuring all your actions and words are just; and going from one good deed and word to another.

(see also Citadel p. 41, 43, 48, 186, 239, 273)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:26

When you fret at any circumstance, you have forgotten a number of things. You have forgotten that all comes about in accordance with the nature of the Whole; that any wrong done lies with the other; further, that everything which happens was always so in the past, will be the same again in the future, and is happening now across the world; that a human being has close kinship with the whole human race - not a bond of blood or seed, but a community of mind. And you have forgotten this too, that every man's mind is god and has flowed from that source; that nothing is our own property, but even our child, our body, our very soul have come from that source; that all is as thinking makes it so; that each of us lives only the present moment, and the present moment is all we lose.

Marcus offers very sound advice when we feel our anxiety starting to rise.  At the time of this writing, this passage was particularly useful.  I arrived at work on Monday, expecting a quiet week; a week where I'd be able to work on my back log.  Instead, there were numerous issues and popped up and multiple fires to fight.  I felt the stress and anxiety creep in.  Then I came across this passage and recognized I was 'fretting.'  I remembered that whatever happens, including all these issues, was brought about in accordance with the nature of the Whole.  There was no benefit in getting all riled up and stressed out.  All that happened this week, indeed, has happened before and will happen again.  This point was driven home to me, because nine years ago, I was in a very similar situation.  Back then, I did not have the Stoic framework.  But this week I did and I was much more accepting of the situation than I was nine years ago.

If I go back twenty years ago, I recall being stressed out and homesick while I was living in a foreign country.  At that time, a good person and dear friend gave me some excellent advice.  I was focused on myself and my problem.  But he advised me that all through the country and around the world, there were other people in a similar situation as I was in.  And that if I remembered that every morning, I would not feel so lonely and feel a kinship with everyone else living through similar circumstances.

All of us humans are in this together.  We all come from god's mind, therefore every human's mind is a slice of the divine.

Lastly, we have control over our opinion and attitude.  And we get to choose what our attitude will be.  Therefore, be present and live in this very moment - be positive.

(see also Citadel p. 38-43, 113, 127, 132)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:24-25

Three thoughts to keep at hand. First: in your own actions, nothing aimless or other than Justice herself would have done; in external happenings either chance or providence is at work, and one should not blame chance or indict providence. Second: the nature of each of us from conception to the first breath of soul, and from that first breath to the surrender of our soul; what elements form our constitution and will be the result of our dissolution. Third: that if you were suddenly lifted up to a great height and could look down on human activity and see all its variety, you would despise it, because your view would take in also the great surrounding host of spirits who populate the air and the sky; and that, however many times you were lifted up, you would see the same things - monotony and transience. Such are the objects of our conceit.

Jettison the judgement, and you are saved. And who is there to prevent this jettison?

To summarize the three thoughts that we have to keep in mind:

One - all actions with an aim and with justice.  For those things out of my control, accept it.

Two - memento mori we all will die; and it could be at any time.  We cannot take our mind off this thought.

Three - divide to despise; all these things in the world are so small and petty compared to the grand universe.  The idea is to keep in mind how small all of us and all things are - it puts problems and issues we face, into perspective.

In chapter 25 of Book 12, Marcus reminds us that our opinion shapes our world view.  And we have complete control over our own opinion.

(see also Citadel p. 41, 177, 185-186, 254)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:23

Any one individual activity which comes to an end at the appropriate time suffers no harm from its cessation: nor has the agent suffered any harm simply because this particular action has ceased. In the same way, then, if the total of all his actions which constitutes a man's life comes to an end at the appropriate time, it suffers no harm from the mere fact of cessation: nor is the agent who brings this series of actions to a timely end exposed to any harm. The time and the term are assigned by nature sometimes man's own nature, as in old age, but in any case by the nature of the Whole, which through the constant changing of its constituent parts keeps the whole world ever young and fresh. Now anything which benefits the Whole is always fine and ripe. It follows that for each of us there is certainly no harm in the cessation of life, as there is no shame either — not self-chosen, not damaging to the common interest. Rather there is good, in that it falls in due season for the Whole, thereby both giving and receiving benefit. Thus too a man walks with god's support when his choice and his direction carry him along god's own path.

There is not much to add in the form of commentary here.  Marcus simply expounds, in some detail, the nature of death.  He firmly believes that whenever someone dies, it is at the appropriate time.  Some people might take exception to that sentiment.  For example, consider a young husband and father, who provides for his wife and four children.  He does his best to care for them; he keeps himself in shape; he participates in the community.  In fact, many would agree that there are far too few people like him - the world needs more people like him.  But as fate would have it, he dies at the age of 42.  Is this an appropriate time?  Many would loudly and angrily cry, "no!"  They may even say, "how could a God do this?  His wife, his young sons, his parents, his community - they need him!  Why, God?"

Humans will do all sorts of things to come up with reasons as to why this would happen.  Perhaps there is a reason or multiple reasons for this.  The answers remain hidden to us.

All we can do - all that is left in our power - is to carry on and do what we can to have a positive attitude.  Those of us left still must carry the cause forward.  Those who have passed on, no longer have the power to influence this life.  The task remains to those who still live.

Marcus, after all was written and thought about and contemplated, seemingly had an unwavering trust in the Universe.  "... there is a good, in that it falls in due season for the Whole, thereby both giving and receiving benefit."  A man who can see the good and benefit in the toughest of circumstances, "walks with god's support."  In short, as Nietzsche said, amor fati.

Commentary on Meditations: B12:20-22

First, nothing aimless or without ulterior reference. Second, no reference to any end other than the common good.

That in a short while you will be nobody and nowhere; and the same of all that you now see and all who are now alive. It is the nature of all things to change, to perish and be transformed, so that in succession different things can come to be.

That all is as thinking makes it so - and you control your thinking. So remove your judgements whenever you wish and then there is calm - as the sailor rounding the cape finds smooth water and the welcome of a waveless bay.

Although not easy, we all should do our best to ensure every action we take has a goal; and furthermore, the goal of all our action should be established with the end goal being: the common good.

Always keep in mind that your life is short at best.  And at worst, it could be lost so easily - by illness, accident or randomly.  Nature loves to change and as we humans are a part of nature, we too must change and eventually return to the basic elements.

Today, a lot of kids use the word "triggered" when describing someone who is easily upset.  An example would be if students are being somewhat rowdy and loud and they don't immediately listen to a teachers urging for them to settle down.  A student might then do something intentional to be disruptive, at which point the teacher becomes very upset - she would be "triggered."  The teacher does not need to get angry - she can control her thinking and therefore her reaction.  The same can be applied to each of us in a many situations.  We can control our judgement and reaction to any situation.  The key is to practice!

(see also Citadel p. 39-41, 46, 185)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:16-19

Presented with the impression that someone has done wrong, how do I know that this was a wrong? And if it was indeed a wrong, how do I know that he was not already condemning himself, which is the equivalent of tearing his own face?  Wanting the bad man not to do wrong is like wanting the fig-tree not to produce rennet in its figs, babies not to cry, horses not to neigh, or any other inevitable fact of nature. What else can he do with a state of mind like his? So if you are really keen, cure his state.

If it is not right, don't do it: if it is not true, don't say it.

Your impulse on every occasion should be to a complete survey of what exactly this thing is which is making an impression on your mind - to open it out by analysis into cause, material, reference, and the time-span within which it must cease to be.

Realize at long last that you have within you something stronger and more numinous than those agents of emotion which make you a mere puppet on their strings. What is in my mind at this very moment? Fear, is it? Suspicion? Desire? Something else of that sort?

Giving others the benefit of the doubt is a mark of a Stoic.  Marcus details what this looks like.  Someone does something wrong.  First off, how do you know that it is wrong?  The first step, therefore, is checking your assumptions.  And then, let's suppose indeed the person has done wrong.  Do we also know if he or she has already beaten themselves up about it?  Maybe give them a break before condemning them.  Then there are truly, indeed, bad men.  Don't be surprised by this, just as you would not be surprised that an apple tree grew apples.  And if you really wanted to help a bad man, then attempt to smartly do so.

How much clearer can Marcus be in chapter 17 of Book 12?  If it is not right, don't do it.  If it is not true, don't say it.

The goal of the discipline of assent is to ensure your impressions exactly match reality.  Therefore, reserve immediate judgement of events.  Instead, take time to do a full assessment and analysis: what is it made of, what is the context, how long will it exist?  Always going through this removes emotions and strips away false impressions.  Fear and anxiety and exuberance and haughtiness vanish.

Continuing with the topic of the discipline of assent, you should recall that you are more resilient than you think.  There is a part of your soul that is stronger than the fears, anxieties, giddiness and ecstasy.  Let that part of your soul out.

(see also Citadel p. 40-41, 287) 

Commentary on Meditations: B12:14-15

Either the compulsion of destiny and an order allowing no deviation, or a providence open to prayer, or a random welter without direction. Now if undeviating compulsion, why resist it? If a providence admitting the placation of prayer, make yourself worthy of divine assistance. If an ungoverned welter, be glad that in such a maelstrom you have within yourself a directing mind of your own: if the flood carries you away, let it take your flesh, your breath, all else - but it will not carry away your mind.

The light of a lamp shines on and does not lose its radiance until it is extinguished. Will then the truth, justice, and self control which fuel you fail before your own end?

The "gods or atoms" argument is displayed again in chapter 14 of Book 12.  The gist of this idea is that the action is the same, whether you believe in a god or gods or if you do not.  The end result, "govern yourself."  If you can govern yourself, in the maelstrom, then do it.  If things are so random and chaotic, fine - accept it.  But then proceed to organize your mind.

Like light, the virtues of truth and justice and temperance always exist.  But do they exist in you?  You need to light them within you and they will always burn and light your life as long as you don't extinguish them.  And the choice is entirely yours as to whether you extinguish them or let them burn on.

(see also Citadel p. 45, 113, 148, 156-157, 237)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:10-13

See things for what they are, analysing into material, cause, and reference.

What liberty man has to do only what god will approve, and to welcome all that god assigns him in the course of nature!

Do not blame the gods: they do no wrong, willed or unwilled.  Do not blame men either: all their wrongs are unwilled. No one, then, should be blamed.

How absurd - and a complete stranger to the world - is the man surprised at any aspect of his experience in life!

Food - you don't need it.  You can live off very little nutritious food.  Fame is fleeting and extremely temporary.  Even the local celebrities and managers at work, fade quickly and are entirely forgotten (O'Conner, Schmerbeck, Renard ... you can barely remember these names).  Your peers and even the ones behind you in years will soon be retired and left for obscurity.   Power - the same as fame.  Pleasures become dulled and boring.  Electronics too lose luster after mere hours.  Entertainment - utterly meaningless.  But, how often do you truly meditate and calm your mind?  Do you ever yearn for this?

True liberty is loving your fate - to do what god has assigned for you.  Think of that: if you love and embrace all that is sent your way, what worries would you have?  None!

No need to blame god for bad things.  The same for men, if you assume all are following a course they think best.  Life is opinion and preference.

You know bad men exist.  You know things that can go bad, indeed go bad.  So why are you surprised when they do?  The fault is entirely yours for not anticipating that and acting all surprised by it!  Grow a pair and accept all curve balls that are thrown to you.

Commentary on Meditations: B12:6-9

Practise even what you have despaired of mastering. For lack of practice the left hand is awkward for most tasks, but has a stronger grip on the bridle than the right - it is practised in this.

How one should be in both body and soul when overtaken by death; the shortness of life; the immensity of time future and past; the feebleness of all things material.

Look at causation stripped bare of its covers; look at the ulterior reference of any action. Consider, what is pain? What is pleasure? What is death? What is fame? Who is not himself the cause of his own unrest? Reflect how no one is hampered by any other; and that all is as thinking makes it so.

The model for the application of your principles is the boxer rather than the gladiator. The gladiator puts down or takes up the sword he uses, but the boxer always has his hands and needs only to clench them into fists.

In these four chapters, there seems to be a common theme and the first word in chapter 6 is the key: practice.  I am thankful for philosophers and practitioners of philosophy who have gone before me.  They have spelled out the logic of Stoicism and have expressed how best to put that philosophy into practice.  Life is practice, whether trying to master a technical task or a philosophical one.

We ought to practice remembering the shortness of life as often as we can.  In contrast to our short life stands "the immensity of time future and past" and in that vast time, how all material things vanish.

We ought to practice breaking everything into parts (discipline of assent).  We ought to really think about what these things, (such as pain, pleasure, death and fame) mean.  They are out of our control, so they mean nothing,  What truly matters is our opinion and our focus on becoming courageous, temperate, just and wise.  These are the things that are in our control.

And when should be practice?  Always.  Like a boxer who is always ready, who doesn't require the need to get a weapon, for his weapons are a part of him already.

(see also Citadel p. 38, 40, 166-167, 272-273)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:4-5

I have often wondered how it is that everyone loves himself more than anyone else, but rates his own judgement of himself below that of others. Anyway, if a god or some wise tutor appeared at his side and told him to entertain no internal thought or intention which he won't immediately broadcast outside, he would not tolerate this regime for a single day. So it is that we have more respect for what our neighbours will think of us than we have for ourselves.

However was it that the gods, who have ordered all else so well and with such love for men, overlooked this one thing, that some men, the very best of them, those who had conducted, as it were, the most commerce with the divine and reached the closest relation to it through their acts of devotion and their observances - that these men, once dead, should meet perpetual extinction rather than some return to existence?

Now if this is indeed the case, you can be sure that if it should have been otherwise the gods would have made it otherwise: because if that were right, it would also have been possible, and if in accordance with nature, nature would have brought it about. Therefore the fact that it is not otherwise (if indeed that is a fact) should assure you that it ought not to be otherwise. You can see for yourself that in raising this presumptuous question you are pleading a case with god. But we would not enter such debate with the gods if they were not supremely good and supremely just: and if that is so, they would not have let any part of their ordered arrangement of the world escape them through neglect of justice or reason.

In chapter 4 of Book 12, Marcus focuses on what how we should view our internal thoughts - the ongoing dialogue we have with ourselves.  He observes that despite people loving themselves so much, that love stops where begin to judge ourselves.  We think less of our own thoughts than we do of other thoughts.  We are so ashamed of our thoughts and we are worried about what others might think of us if we were mandated to broadcast our thoughts all the time.  I think the correct paradigm would be this: have right thoughts (think of the virtues at all times and apply the discipline of assent at all times and think about the dichotomy of control) and be ready to answer the question, "what are you thinking?" at any given moment and feel no anxiety or embarrassment.

Chapter 5 of Book 12 is more musing by Marcus about the permanence of death.  His reasoning is that if the gods don't allow even the best of us to live on, then no one lives on past death.

Commentary on Meditations: B12:3

There are three things in your composition: body, breath, and mind. The first two are yours to the extent that you must take care for them, but only the third is in the full sense your own. So, if you separate from yourself - that is, from your mind - all that others say or do, all that you yourself have said or done, all that troubles you for the future, all that your encasing body and associate breath bring on you without your choice, all that is whirled round in the external vortex encircling us, so that your power of mind, transcending now all contingent ties, can exist on its own, pure and liberated, doing what is just, willing what happens to it, and saying what is true; if, as I say, you separate from this directing mind of yours the baggage of passion, time future and time past, and make yourself like Empedocles' 'perfect round rejoicing in the solitude it enjoys', and seek only to perfect this life you are living in the present, you will be able at least to live out the time remaining before your death calmly, kindly, and at peace with the god inside you.

This is one of the more important passages from Meditations, in my opinion.  In it, Marcus marks important boundaries in the human mental model.  He breaks down the human into three parts: our bones and muscles and blood and water compose the body; our lungs supply us with the air we need and then our mind allows us to think and act.

We have a responsibility to take care of our body and breath, but they are not entirely in your control.  External things and events can easily and quickly take away our breath and body.  Our physical brain falls under the domain of the body.  But to the extent that the body and brain "work", then how we use our mind is entirely up to us - we have ultimate control over our mind.

In the domain of our mind and thoughts, we get to control what bothers us, what we say, how we act.  And everything else outside of this domain (the past, the future, what others do, events, our health and our possessions) is out of our control.  If we all could remember that delineation - that border - all the time, we would make great progress on the pathway to becoming a sage.  All things become a swirling vortex around our singular mind, and in the midst of it all, our directing mind can "exist on its own."  It becomes detached and liberated to think clearly and justly and lovingly embraces all that happens around it.

Marcus then references Empedocles' Sphairos - which is a perfectly round sphere, untouched by external things and events and it is perfectly content and rejoices in its own existence.  As he describes this, I can't help but think of an eye of a hurricane - where all around that eye is a ravaging storm of destruction and in the center is perfect calm.  To reach that state of mind, in my opinions, is the perfect resilience - the perfect state of mind - to live in the present; to live calmly and kindly and to be at perfect peace with yourself.

(see also Citadel p. 55, 112-113, 134-135, 237, 265)

Commentary on Meditations: B12:2

God sees all our directing minds stripped of their material vessels, their husks and their dross. His contact is only between his own intelligence and what has flowed from him into these channels of ours. If you train yourself to do the same, you will be rid of what so much distracts you. Hardly likely, is it, that one blind to the enveloping flesh will spend his time eyeing clothes, houses, reputation, or any other such trappings and stage scenery?

What truly is important and what matters is our mind.  Take away the home, the cars, the clothes, and even the flesh and body and what is left is the mind.  The mind, and the proper development of the mind, is what we ought to focus on.  What makes humans unique from all other living things, is the capacity to think and act on our own.  This is why I recommend to people that they need to focus on developing their mind first, instead of developing their body first.  On any given day, I'd choose to work with a dozen intelligent, rational people (but physically weak) over a dozen fitness fanatics and body builders.  Our intelligence is what has uniquely "flowed" to us.  Our bodies are simply a vessel and expression of the thought.

Commentary on Meditations: B12:1

All that you pray to reach at some point in the circuit of your life can be yours now - if you are generous to yourself. That is, if you leave all the past behind, entrust the future to Providence, and direct the present solely to reverence and justice. To reverence, so that you come to love your given lot: it was Nature that brought it to you and you to it. To justice, so that you are open and direct in word and action, speaking the truth, observing law and proportion in all you do. You should let nothing stand in your way - not the iniquity of others, not what anyone else thinks or says, still less any sensation of this poor flesh that has accreted round you: the afflicted part must see to its own concern.

If, then, when you finally come close to your exit, you have left all else behind and value only your directing mind and the divinity within you, if your fear is not that you will cease to live, but that you never started a life in accordance with nature, then you will be a man worthy of the universe that gave you birth. You will no longer be a stranger in your own country, no longer meet the day's events as if bemused by the unexpected, no longer hang on this or that.

If you are reading this commentary, pause and really take the time to read chapter 1 of Book 12; read it again and again if you have to.  Marcus gets to the heart of the matter of philosophy and Stoicism in this chapter.  He talks of all three disciplines and he even gives you a measuring stick to see if you've been "worthy" of living or not.

He first focuses on the past, the present and the future.  Leave the past behind.  There is nothing that can be done to change it.  The past is out of your control.  Therefore, leave it where is remains forever.  No anxiety or worry or anger or happiness or love.  It is gone.  Similarly, the future is out of our control.  We are blind to it.  We cannot know whether we will be rich or poor, alive or dead, healthy or ill.  The future is a bridge we have not yet encountered and we only waste time by thinking about it.  Indeed do all you can to plan, but ultimately, don't hinge your contentment on the future.

This leaves the present: the one point in time, out of the infinite number of points in time, over which we have control.  How do we best use this gift?  We live it justly (discipline of action) by doing right; living right; living with integrity; helping others; by being open and direct with all people.  We live the present moment reverently (discipline of desire) - which means we love our lot in life.  This is as close as Marcus comes to saying amor fati.  Love this unique-crafted-especially-for-you moment.  It is yours and no one else's.  And if you focus on the one thing you can control (your attitude) in this moment that belongs to you, you will find contentment.

Don't let all those other things stand in your way of having a positive, learning, fulfilling experience now.  Don't let others' iniquity, or thoughts or opinions or words stand in your way.  Don't let your body, which is little more than gelatinous mass, stand in your way of having a good attitude.

If you are able to accomplish all this, and, when you near your death, the only thing you value is your hegemonikon's ability to stay true to the divine, then you will have lived a good life.  Also, if you get to the point of not fearing death, but rather, your greatest fear is that you never were able to start living a life according to nature, then you will be worthy of your existence - you will have found your home - your country.  You will no longer be surprised by anything, you will no longer care about this indifferent thing or that indifferent thing.  You will have transcended all of it.