Commentary on Meditations: B1.16 - Marcus' Adoptive Father (Antoninus Pius)

From my [adoptive] father: gentleness, and an immovable adherence to decisions made after full consideration. In other words, be good natured (gentle) and kind.  Think fully and well. Then make your choice.

no vain taste for so-called honours. He was humble and did not 'get a big head' regarding his authority.

stamina and perseverance. He had the ability to stick to something. A more modern and oft-used term is "grit.” One demonstrates grit by not backing down and staying with something to the end.

a ready ear for anyone with any proposal for the common good; to reward impartially, giving everyone their due; experience of where to tighten, where to relax.  As emperor, I’m sure Marcus had lots of people approach him with proposals.  He did his best to execute justice for all; giving people a chance and by giving them a fair shake.

putting a stop to homosexual love of young men. There is not much to say here other than to note Marcus worked on self-discipline.

a common courtesy, excusing his court from constant attendance at dinner with him and the obligation to accompany him out of town, and those kept away by some other commitment always found him no different towards them. Marcus’s adoptive father was not a prima-donna.  He did not demand constant attention.  He was not haughty.

focused and persistent in deliberation in council, never satisfied with first impressions and leaving a question prematurely. I find this counsel good in today's attention-deficit-disorder world, where we can't keep our attention focused on something for more than five minutes.  Marcus learned from his adoptive father to be focused on a task at hand until it was completed.  He was not content with just hearing the talking points; rather he delved into topics and did not leave a question too early.

the concern to keep his friends, with no extremes of surfeit or favouritism. Marcus learned from him to be just with his friends and acquaintances.

his own master in all things, and serene with it. This is another observation related to self-discipline and being content.

foresight for the longer issues and unfussy control of the least detail. This part really rings true for the line of work I’m in.  We call it “having a general interest mindset.” Some people we deal with want to "haggle" about smaller amounts and they lose sight of the bigger picture.  For example, on a $1 million project, there is no point in chasing down ten-dollar issues. Or, in another example, rather than taking a hard stance on a feature which will only benefit a subset of customers for little to no value, one can agree to align with other stakeholders in order to keep the general interest united.

the check he put in his reign on acclamations and all forms of flattery. He did not let power get to his head and did not succumb to flattery.

his constant watch on the needs of the empire, his stewardship of its resources, and his tolerance of some people's criticism in this area.  He did his duty and was a good steward.  He allowed people to give him feedback and probably accepted some of it.

no superstitious fear of the gods, nor with men any populism or obsequious courting of the mob, but a sober steadfastness in all things, and nowhere any vulgar or newfangled taste. He acted according to nature; and man's nature is to act with reason.  Therefore, he did not give into superstitions nor was he swayed by the popular sentiment of the day; a sentiment which embraces the “here today, gone tomorrow” attitude.  He focused on timeless values and on reason and logic that was permanent.

In those things which conduce to the comfort of life - and here fortune gave him plenty - to enjoy them without pride or apology either, so no routine acceptance of their presence or regret in their absence. He knew his position, and did not apologize for it, or feel guilty about it, nor did he flaunt it before others.  He accepted his fate.

the fact that no one would ever describe him as a fraud or an impostor or a pedant, but rather as a man of mellow wisdom and mature experience, beyond flattery, able to take charge of his own and others' affairs. He was genuine and not two-faced.  Again, he did not let his power and position get to his head.  He simply did his duty.

Further, his high regard for genuine philosophers - for the other sort he had no hard words, but easily saw through them. To me, this speaks of the ability to see through charlatans who are people who falsely claim to have a special knowledge or skill, but in fact they are frauds. A true philosopher is someone who genuinely is searching for rock-solid truth.

sociability, too, and a sense of humour, not taken to excess; sensible care of his own body, neither vain nor valetudinarian, but not neglectful either, so that his own attention to himself left very little need for doctors, doses, or applications. Like his adoptive father we should remember that we are social beings and have a need and a duty to interact with others regularly.  Our social-ability improves when we have a smart sense of humor (not too dry and not in excess, but just right). We should also demonstrate sensible care of our body. Some may spend hours in the gym; or hours prepping and eating the best foods, while some spend no time in the gym and eat only twinkies. Both approaches to care for the body are not within reason. A valetudinarian is a person who is unduly anxious about their health. In sum, we should strike the right balance in taking care of our body.

Most importantly, his readiness to defer ungrudgingly to those with some special ability - it might be in literary expression, or the study of laws or customs or any other subject and to give them his own active support to reach acknowledged eminence in their own specialities. Some people want to be the know-it-all and will be such a know-it-all, they begin to misrepresent the truth.  The concept here is that we can and ought to defer to experts.  With that said, it would be wise to collect 360-degree feedback, to ensure as much relevant data and information has been collected.  The point here is to not be an expert in all things, but to also leverage others' knowledge.

Acting always in accordance with tradition yet not making the preservation of tradition an overt aim. When I lived in Guatemala, I often would visit homes where a sticker on the door said, "we were born catholic, we are catholic, we will die catholic."  There is no sense in preserving something that does not need to be preserved for its own sake.  If I were to amend that sentiment, I would say, "I was born to find truth, I seek the truth, I will die yearning for the truth."  We should ever be seeking and amending our outlook and philosophy on life in accordance with reason and we should not hold on to anything just for the sake of tradition.

further, no liking for change and chance, but a settled habit in the same places and the same practices. As the March 28th Daily Stoic entry says, "chaos ensues from not having a plan."  Stoics accept and even love their fate, but that does not mean they leave life to chance.  In every aspect, if they have the ability to have an influence on something and wish to make the world a better place, they should do so.  Excellence comes with habits, so build good ones.

to resume instantly after attacks of migraine, fresh again and vigorous for his usual work. Truly an impressive ability; to be able to suffer from illness or setbacks, but when addressed and rectified, having the ability to start anew.  Many suffer from loss of momentum when setbacks occur.

not to keep many matters secret to himself, only a very few exceptional cases and those solely of state concern.  Transparency is important.  Too often our society has learned hard lessons when people keep things in the dark.  Granted, there are times when discretion is needed, but the greater the transparency while managing risk, the better society is.

sense and moderation in such things as the provision of shows, contracting of public works, doles and distributions - the acts of a man with an eye for precisely what needs to be done, not the glory of its doing. To do things for the right reason instead of for greater fame or recognition is the better path.

He was not one to bathe at all hours; he had no urge to build houses; he was not particular about food, the material and colour of his clothes, or youthful beauty in his slaves; the fact that his dress came from Lorium, sent up from his country house there; the many details of his way of life at Lanuvium; how he handled the apologetic customs officer in Tusculum, and all such modes of behaviour.  Related to the care of the body, he did not take these matters to excess.  He did what was prudent.  He may have been a minimalist.

Nothing about him was harsh, relentless, or impetuous, and you would never say of him that he 'broke out a sweat': but everything was allotted its own time and thought, as by a man of leisure - his way was unhurried, organized, vigorous, consistent in all. In brief he was deliberate and ordered, in all aspects of his life.

What is recorded of Socrates would apply to him too: that he could regulate abstinence and enjoyment where many people are too weak-willed to abstain or enjoy too indulgently. It is a sad state of affairs that some people seem to ruin the fun for everyone else.  One of the key concepts I learned from my humanities and history if civilization courses in college was “moderation in all things.” If more people were moderate in their consumption, we would not have the ills that society possesses today.  There would be no drunk driving or binge drinking or pollution in the ocean.

Strength of character - and endurance or sobriety as the case may be - signifies the man of full and indomitable spirit, as was shown by Maximus in his illness. Endure life and all its trials well. Your attitude and strength of your character is everything.  Never give up. Be persistent.  Be sober.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.15

15. From Maximus: self-mastery, immune to any passing whim; good cheer in all circumstances, including illness; a nice balance of character, both gentle and dignified; an uncomplaining
energy for what needs to be done; the trust he inspired in everyone that he meant what he said and was well-intentioned in all that he did; proof against surprise or panic; in nothing either hurried or hesitant, never short of resource, never downcast or cringing, or on the other hand angry or suspicious; generosity in good works, and a forgiving and truthful nature; the impression he gave of undeviating rectitude as a path chosen rather than enforced; the fact that no one would ever have thought himself belittled by him, or presumed to consider himself superior to him; and a pleasant humour.

Self-mastery, also known as temperance, can be one of the most important and difficult virtues to instill within oneself. Marcus is grateful to Maximus for having learned that virtue.  In all forms, self-mastery is the gateway to finding contentment.  Whether you learn self-discipline in eating, exercise or even how you spend your leisure time, you should find ways to be in control of your desires; and master your ability to manage yourself in completing your duties.

I’m always impressed with people who demonstrate equanimity and good cheer. Your attitude is something which is ‘up to you.’ You can choose your attitude and perception of any situation. While an attitude of good cheer may not change all your circumstances, it can help you stay positive and solve your challenges more easily!

Related to your attitude is forming your character so that it is both gentle and dignified. As I think about this part of the passage, I envision a person who is not too stern, yet not too familiar. There is a right balance between in demonstrating good tact when working with people. Sometimes someone could be too formal or too stern, but equally, poor tact could be acting too informally. Furthermore, someone who strikes the right balance of demonstrating good cheer, gentleness and dignity is someone who possesses energy to always fulfill duties and solve problems without complaint.

Next, we note how Maximus was a man of his word.  We too can be someone who does what he says he will do. If you commit to something, do all that you can to keep that commitment.  Be genuine in your words; do not inflate and downplay your perception.  Speak of things as they are.  Always ensure your intentions are the best, no matter what.

Maximus was surprise-proofed and even panic-proofed! Just as something can be water-proofed so that the object is not easily damaged by water, so too can we be surprise-proofed and panic-proofed.  We should train our mind and attitude to not be surprised or panicked by anything.  Nothing should surprise or shock you, especially if you are 40 years old or older, for, after that age, you will have generally 'seen it all'.  One way to proof yourself to surprise and panic is to practice preparing for your death as well as preparing for the worst of circumstances. This practice is called premeditatio malorum.

As you prepare for difficult events and circumstances, be reserved and steady in your reactions so as to be able to apply reason and logic to any circumstance.  Do not be hurried or hesitant, rather be deliberate in your thoughts and actions.  Furthermore, be resourceful and always upbeat in your attitude. Don't be downcast or wring your hands or be angry or doubtful of everyone's motivations.

As to generosity in good works, we are reminded that there cannot be too much of a truly good thing. It would be absurd to think that someone produces too many good works. Therefore, that advice of being generous with good works, rests on a sound assumption. Along with this advice, we are to forgive quickly and frankly and not hold any grudges. In brief, forgive and forget, then move on, and simply be honest in all you do.

Maximus demonstrated an undeviating rectitude as he was a moral person and chose the right path without ever needing to be forced into that path. So too should we choose what is morally good rather than being forced into it.

Lastly, Maximus lived and acted in a way which never gave the impression that he was belittling others, nor did he give the impression that he was superior to them. He simply had a good nature about him.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.14

14. From Severus: love of family, love of truth, love of justice; to have come by his help to understand Thrasea, Helvidius, Cato, Dio, Brutus; to have conceived the idea of a balanced constitution, a commonwealth based on equality and freedom of speech, and of a monarchy which values above all the liberty of the subject; from him, too, a constant and vigorous respect for philosophy; beneficence, unstinting generosity, optimism; his confidence in the affection of his friends, his frankness with those who met with his censure, and open likes and dislikes, so that his friends did not need to guess at his wishes.

Love of family is one of the center pieces of discipline of action.  One of our closest circles of concern is with our family.  We should love and serve them foremost.

Regarding love of truth and justice, the only good is moral good and squared with that, is the love of truth and justice.  Determining the truth is not easy. It takes time and effort to arrive at it.  Love of justice is nothing other the love of others.  The less we are centered on ourselves and more on others, the closer we move to justice.

Next, Marcus admires Severus’s idea of a balanced constitution based on the principals of equality and freedom of speech which are pillars in the modern-day Republic of the United States.  One of the first times I read this passage from Meditations, I was also reading a book about Cato, entitled “Rome's Last Citizen.” Cato fought for the same ideals which Marcus appreciates and admires in this passage.

The next part of the passage discusses Severus’s vigorous respect for philosophy. I often wonder how many people simply float through life and are aimless.  If one does not think about and determine their philosophy, they will most likely allow others to guide and persuade them.  I always try to encourage those near to me in life to study and think about philosophy and then conclude what their philosophy should be. I would love to see required philosophy courses in high school, placed on the same level as math, reading and science.

Severus was generous and optimistic. We too can learn to do good and to serve others.  Be generous with your time and money.  Seek ways to improve your community, your nation, and the world. Also, being optimistic about events and the future doesn't cost a thing. You can have an optimistic attitude and live life in good faith.

Lastly, it seems that Severus was quite transparent. He didn’t seem to hide his affection for his friends, and it made it quite clear to others what his opinion of them was. It seems most people knew where he stood with his opinions of others.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.13

13. From Catulus: not to spurn a friend's criticism, even if it may be an unreasonable complaint, but to try to restore his usual feelings; to speak of one's teachers with wholehearted gratitude, as is recorded of Domitius and Athenodotus; and a genuine love for children.

The first part regarding the quality of not spurning a friend’s criticism seems to be about how friendship is greater than a friend's criticism.  The way I read this, is we ought to look past the shortcomings and "bad behavior" of our friends.  This is not to say we should associate with bad people and ignore all the bad they do, rather we should associate with good (virtuous) people and on occasion, they may not be perfect, and we ought to overlook it. In the example Marcus refers to, even if a friend’s complaint is unreasonable, we should give them the benefit of the doubt.

Regarding gratitude for our teachers, we should view many people as our teachers. Our parents, educational teachers, mentors, supervisors, managers, all do so much to help us.  We should respect them and be grateful for them.

Lastly, Marcus appreciates Catulus’s example of having genuine love for children. We would do well to remember they are humans who are still learning.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.12

12. From Alexander the Platonist: rarely, and never without essential cause, to say or write to anyone that 'I am too busy'; nor to use a similar excuse, advancing 'pressure of circumstances', in constant avoidance of the proprieties inherent in our relations to our fellows and contemporaries.

It seems that Marcus learned to avoid the excuse of “I am too busy” when it comes to spending time with people in our important relationships.

My wife and I used to have a running joke about making each other feel a little guilty every time we had to decide between carrying out a duty and spending time with family.  Whenever one of those conflicts would come out, we'd sing "and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon ..."  if you don't understand that reference, then you can search on-line for the song entitle “Cats’ in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. The gist of the song is that the dad is too busy to spend time with his kid and then eventually, when the kid is all grown up, the dad wants to spend time with the kid and the kid is too busy for the dad. It's a sad song and it's meant to give us all a major guilt trip. Without too much sappiness and guilt, the message is clear: make time with those closest to you; invest in your most important relationships; and don't let busy-ness be an excuse.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.11

11. From Fronto: to understand the effect of suspicion, caprice, and hypocrisy in the exercise of absolute rule; and that for the most part these people we call 'Patricians' are somewhat short of human affection.

For this passage, let me provide definitions and then some brief commentary.

Suspicion means having cautious distrust.

Caprice means a sudden and unaccountable change of mood or behavior.

Hypocrisy means the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform.

A patrician is an aristocrat or nobleman.

I think another way to view this passage is to think of a time when someone treated you with suspicion.  They didn't trust you and perhaps there was no reason for them to mistrust you.

Or, think of the time when a friend or a teacher or coach went from being happy to super grumpy in a moment.

Or, think of a time when someone tells you to do one thing, but they in turn they violate their own instruction.

In each of these cases, you probably don't feel much friendship or trust toward the other person. Having identified how these things are not virtuous, then you should commit to not be that way! As Marcus says at the end, these people are "short of human affection."

Commentary on Meditations: B1.10

10. From Alexander the grammarian: not to leap on mistakes, or captiously interrupt when anyone makes an error of vocabulary, syntax, or pronunciation, but neatly to introduce the correct form of that particular expression by way of answer, confirmation, or discussion of the matter itself rather than its phrasing - or by some other such felicitous prompting.

In this passage, the main quality which Marcus admires is the quality of giving good feedback and coaching well. Giving feedback in order for it to be effective means providing it with tact. Tact entails being sensitive in dealing with others or with difficult issues. If someone makes a mistake, then don't be that "know-it-all" and immediately jump all over the person. Rather, start with what they did well and then offer ways for them to improve.

Think of Hermione and how she somewhat arrogantly corrects Ron: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx2zLgdkJpk

Commentary on Meditations: B1.9

9. From Sextus: a kindly disposition, and the pattern of a household governed by the paterfamilias; the concept of life lived according to nature; an unaffected dignity; intuitive concern for his friends; tolerance both of ordinary people and of the emptily opinionated; an agreeable manner with all, so that the pleasure of his conversation was greater than any flattery, and his very presence brought him the highest respect from all the company; certainty of grasp and method in the discovery and organization of the essential principles of life; never to give the impression of anger or any other passion, but to combine complete freedom from passion with the greatest human affection; to praise without fanfare, and to wear great learning lightly.

A kind disposition might mean that a person's inherent qualities of mind and character focus and place emphasis on virtue and excellence of character (arete).

It would seem Sextus had a well-organized family life and was a great leader in his own home. I imagine a home that is neat, tidy and peaceful and managed in a way to allow the family to grow and learn well together.

Regarding the aspect of life lived according to nature, this will be a recurring theme in the Meditations. Indeed, all animals take care of the physical necessities, but rational animals focus on much more.  Humans write and think philosophically, and we ponder our existence.  This is our nature. We live in a higher state and as such, we should spend our efforts on living the best life according to our unique nature.

When Marcus speaks of Sextus’s unaffected dignity, I would define this as the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. To live with unaffected dignity perhaps means not being pretentious, or attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, than what one actually possesses.

Having an intuitive concern for friends might mean caring for others or having a concern for justice and not treating friends unkindly.

To tolerate both ordinary people as well as people who have empty opinions means not be so affected or annoyed by what others are doing.  Perhaps ordinary people might talk a lot about what is playing on TV or the latest viral video or just common things in life. Someone who is emptily opinioned might be someone who is dogmatic or holds an opinion without much evidence to back it up. Regardless, the key concept which Marcus admires is to not let others control your attitude.  Having the strength to tolerate ordinary people and those with empty opinions gives you improved discipline in assent.

Related to this discipline is also having an agreeable manner with all. You can be mindful of how you comport yourself and find a way to comfortably converse with most people. In brief, learn to possess civility.

Next, Marcus admires Sextus’s certainty of grasp, along with a solid method for discovering and organizing the key principles for life. This quality speaks of being cognizant of how life works, of having curiosity to learn and comprehend.  Much in today's world is given to us easily and quickly, simply because technology and access to data is always in our hands. However, we must work to truly discover something on our own.  Therefore, be curious!  Stay with an idea long enough to understand and grasp it.

Sextus never gave the impression of being angry or passionate. Rather, it seemed he lived steadily and demonstrated the ability to live with equanimity. A simple viewing of the nightly news will show how often people are swayed by anger and passions and then do something rash. Find ways to be temperate in your emotions, or better yet, to possess freedom from passion and still have human affection for others.

Lastly, Sextus could praise others without fanfare. Perhaps he learned that some people were over the top when it came to praise. Maybe because of too much fanfare in the praise, it was received as inauthentic. Similarly, to wear great learning lightly would mean to not brag.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.8

8. From Apollonius: moral freedom, the certainty to ignore the dice of fortune, and have no other perspective, even for a moment, than that of reason alone; to be always the same man, unchanged in sudden pain, in the loss of a child, in lingering sickness; to see clearly in his living example that a man can combine intensity and relaxation; not to be impatient in explanation; the observance of a man who clearly regarded as the least of his gifts his experience and skill in communicating his philosophical insights; the lesson of how to take apparent favours from one's friends, neither compromised by them nor insensitive in their rejection.

When you achieve moral freedom through your reason alone, you will have found a marvelous gift. You do not have to let your fears and worries dwell on chance.  You can use your god-given faculty, volition and reason to free your mind.

Related to moral freedom is equanimity. I yearn to be the same in temperament all the time.  People of passion, who are swayed by the slightest moral breeze are fascinating to observe but can be tiresome and unpredictable.  How unreliable these people can be. They are like dealing with a car that constantly breaks.

Marcus observed in Apollonius the ability to have both intensity and relaxation. He was both focused and intense, yet at ease in virtually any situation. When I read this description, I think of the Spock, from Star Trek. He always seemed to be focused yet relaxed in his demeanor.

Have you ever had to deal with someone who took several minutes to explain something? We are often distracted when something is not summarized or boiled down into a few words. We seem to have lost patience in modern times, and we cannot focus anymore. The ability to focus seems to be a quality that is beginning to be lost.  Can you sit and stay focused for hours at a time?  What about a single hour?  If not, then work on becoming better!

Another way to learn and apply philosophy in your life is to communicate and to teach it well. If you can take a difficult concept and teach it to someone, then you demonstrate the ability to truly learn.

When you receive favors, learn to neither be overly swayed nor to be a jerk in receiving them. Accept them with simplicity and grace.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.7

7. From Rusticus: to grasp the idea of wanting correction and treatment for my character; not to be diverted into a taste for rhetoric, so not writing up my own speculations, delivering my own little moral sermons, or presenting a glorified picture of the ascetic or the philanthropist; to keep clear of speechifying, versifying, and pretentious language; not to walk around at home in ceremonial dress, or do anything else like that; to write letters in an unaffected style, like his own letter written to my mother from Sinuessa; to be readily recalled to conciliation with those who have taken or given offence, just as soon as they themselves are willing to turn back; to read carefully, not satisfied with my own superficial thoughts or quick to accept the facile views of others; to have encountered the Discourses of Epictetus, to which he introduced me with his own copy.

To want correction and treatment for my character means that Marcus learned to appreciate feedback as a gift.  The sooner we accept this concept; the sooner we achieve improvement and progression. Some may not like getting feedback simply because of the way it was delivered. But if regardless of how it is delivered, a person can always learn to appreciate advice in order to improve.

To not to be diverted by a taste for rhetoric might be modernized into a plain-speaking translation of (quote) don't be a pompous ass (close quote).  The urban dictionary does a fine job defining what a pompous ass is: a person who seems full of themselves and who grabs every opportunity to let others know of their feelings of superiority. More importantly, the aim of philosophy is to live it, not write about it. Indeed, writing can help ingrain ideas in your mind, but this is a means to an end.  The end is to live a good life.

When you do write letters, do so in an unaffected style. You should write and speak plainly, succinctly and to the point.

Next, Marcus learns to be readily recalled to conciliation. This is similar to the teaching of Jesus found in Matthew 5:25, where he teaches settle matters quickly and fix relationships before, they become too damaged. We should maintain good and healthy relationships with all people.  If something is broken, we should fix it quickly.

When it comes to reading, we should read carefully. We should avoid jumping to conclusions and use sound reason and logic.  My senior high school English teacher, Mr. Puckett, loved to say, "don't assume, because it will make an ass out of you and me.”

Marcus read and studied Epictetus and so should you!

Commentary on Meditations: B1.6

6. From Diognetus: to avoid empty enthusiasms; to disbelieve all that is talked by miracle-mongers and quacks about incantations, exorcism of demons, and the like; not to hold quail-fights or be excited by such sports; to tolerate plain speaking; to have an affinity for philosophy, and to attend the lectures first of Baccheius, then of Tandasis and Marcianus; to write essays from a young age; to love the camp-bed, the hide blanket, and all else involved in the Greek training.

When he writes of the idea of empty enthusiasm, I take this to mean "all talk, no walk.” If you are genuinely going to do something, then do it.  Do not talk about it.  Don't talk of being enthusiastic about something. Rather, you should simply demonstrate it! (see this tweet)

A healthy amount of skepticism is needed in everyone’s life. There are many who want to convince you of their power. They will try to convince you of "miracles" and "exorcisms" and "incantations."  Don’t be hasty in falling for all that you see with your eyes. Our perception and insight are not as great as you think. And there are plenty of con artists who want to gain your trust, so you loosen your wallet or even worse, your rationality.

When he talks of quail-fights, I suppose this could be similar to cockfighting.  This is all wasted time and money.  It does nothing to improve the person.  As for entertainment value, it's all sugar and no nutrition.

Some people will say that plain speaking is no virtue. Indeed, there are always different ways to speak tactfully, but you can still tolerate plain speaking. In modern times, I supposed this means to let people speak bluntly or even un-politically correctly.  Of course, we should speak with respect and intelligence, but we should also allow others to speak plainly.

Next, Marcus considers philosophy and essays. Philosophy is none other than finding a good way to live this life; and I can think of no better philosophy than what the stoics endorse.  Reading and writing about philosophy helps us to think about what it all means and how to live it. Reading and writing also reinforce what we’ve learned.

Lastly, he learns from Diognetus to love the camp-bed and Greek training. What this means to us, today, is to learn to be uncomfortable.  We should learn to tolerate camping, hot and cold weather, sleeping on the ground, and anything that helps us become more resilient.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.5

5. From my tutor: not to become a Green or Blue supporter at the races, or side with the Lights or Heavies in the amphitheatre; to tolerate pain and feel few needs; to work with my own hands and mind my own business; to be deaf to malicious gossip.

I love watching sports, but when I was younger, I would get caught up in the game and become too obsessed. I recall a number of times watching my team lose, and I became quite upset.  Perhaps, this is what Marcus’s tutor was hinting at when he advised the young Marcus to not become a fan or choose a side in these events. Or maybe his tutor saw all of it as a waste of time.

Next in the passage, Marcus was impressed with how his tutor was able to tolerate pain.  How many times have you seen someone who cries out in pain, and, in a sense, it is a bit annoying.  There is a part of us that wants to be courageous when it comes to pain.  Think of the times you've experienced pain.  Sometimes you just have to endure it.  I’ve learned to try to "step outside of my pain" and to look at your pain from an outside perspective.  It helps me endure it better.

The phrase (quote) to feel few needs (quote) reminds me of another stoic thought from Crates of Thebes.  He noted that there is a scale of "needs" in various people and then all the way to the gods. Some people, like children, have quite a lot of needs, but the gods need little.  The entire quote from Crates goes like this (you can read this entire thought here):

practice being in need of only a few things, for this is the closest thing to god. for the gods need nothing.  but, so that you may learn more exactly what is involved in having few needs ... reflect that children have more needs than adults, women than men, invalids than the healthy, and, in general, the inferior everywhere has more needs than the superior. therefore the gods have need of nothing and those nearest to them have the fewest needs.

Next, Marcus learned from his tutor to work with his hands. This part of the passage means a few practical things to me, such as to clean up after yourself, to do yard work, and appreciate and embrace physical labor.  At the very least, this will help you appreciate a career.

His tutor also teaches him to mind his own business. This could mean one of two things.  It could mean to "manage your own business or try to do as much for yourself as you can" or it could mean the traditional sense of not being nosy.  In either case, it is sound advice.

Lastly, Marcus admires the admonition of being deaf to malicious gossip. We do not have control over what others think or say.  So-and-so has said this about you. That is all. Leave it at that.  Hold no ill will and simply seek the higher ground.

Commentary on Meditations: B1.1-4

Book 1 is Marcus's gratitude book and how he has observed the lives of others and their qualities.

These are qualities he tries to emulate.

1. From my grandfather Verus: decency and a mild temper.

2. From what they say and I remember of my natural father: integrity and manliness.

3. From my mother: piety, generosity, the avoidance of wrong-doing and even the thought of it; also simplicity of living, well clear of the habits of the rich.

4. From my great-grandfather: not to have attended schools for the public; to have had good teachers at home, and to realize that this is the sort of thing on which one should spend lavishly.

Definitions are in order ...

Decency - behavior that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability; modesty and propriety

Mild Temper - calm, forgiving, gentle, quiet, tolerant

Integrity - the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness; the state of being whole and undivided

Manliness -  Of, relating to, or characteristic of men, especially when considered traditionally masculine, as in being courageous or direct

Piety - the quality of being religious or reverent

Generous - (of a person) showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected; showing kindness to others

Wrong-doing - illegal or dishonest behavior

Simplicity of Living - minimalistic living; living with few needs or wants; avoidance of extravagance

right out of the gate, marcus aurelius gives us a lot to chew on and to ponder.

you could live your whole life following the first four "verses" of meditations and you will have lived a very good life.

all of these qualities fall under the umbrella of virtue.  in stoicism, virtue is the only good.  i would encourage you to spend some time on your own thinking about virtue (arete) which simply means "excellence of character."

the four major virtues are: wisdom, justice, courage, temperance.

you could even flip these virtues into questions to see where you stand in your development as a good human being.

• am i a decent person?
• do i have a mild temper or do i get angry and upset all the time?
• am i honest?  do i demonstrate integrity?  or do i "divide" myself (am i two-faced?)
• am i courageous and direct?  or do i sometimes waffle?
• do i love God?  am i reverent?
• am i generous with my time and money?  do i use my time, money and resources to help others?
• do i live simply?  or do i spend too much time on things that don't really matter (material possessions)?

if you're doing good in a few of those areas, congratulations!  keep it up!

if you fall short, then make some plans to focus on becoming better.  use your daily reflection or personal journal to think about how you can improve.

lastly, marcus appreciated his grandfather and how he felt it important to spend "lavishly" on education - at least that is how i understand this.  we can't all afford Harvard, but the principal remains: do all in your power to get as much education as you can.

Intro: Commentary on Meditations

The thought occurred to me earlier last week, while on one of my long early morning walks: read Meditations and commentate and share.

It is largely born out of a desire to teach and share stoic thoughts with my own family - my wife and four children.  Perhaps, this blog could "be there" for them at some future date when I am not readily available to chat with them.

It would also help me in my work to dissect and make Stoicism applicable to my own life - as I look for "affirmations" every day.

It would be open for feedback and discussion - should anyone wish to comment.

I don't see any downsides to my investing this time.

I will simply dive into this project and adjust as needed.  At first, I think I will largely try to fit each of Aurelius' passages into one of the disciplines of stoicism (assent, desire, action) or into one of the main categories of virtue (justice, wisdom, temperance, courage).

Should I have an experience to tell related to the matter, I'll do so.

Let's begin!

february in review

starting weight: 191.2
ending weight: 189.8 (as of sunday feb 25)

big events
ben's bball season wrapped up; the HS big win over rival w/ last second shot.  beach trip w/ jeff, fno reviews all done, starting up listening to podcasts (mt, ms), time w/ family, record heat, copperhead bite

february was a month of gains and slight improvements and getting back to the schedule of things.

it ended with a bang when i was bitten by a copperhead snake.  i think this 'obstacle' will prove to be a boon in dealing with some medical issues i've been dealing w/ the last 10 years.  march will see to that.

february had the potential to be very busy with lots of deadlines and issues.  but i dealt with them with calm and focus.

the snake bite proved to me that stoicism is helping.  i cannot think that myself of a few years ago could have been dealt that 'obstacle'