Phil 416: Søren Kierkegaard: Confronting “the Possibility of Freedom”

Søren Kierkegaard: Confronting “the Possibility of Freedom”

The starving, young boy, Michael Kierkegaard, was watching over sheep in the bitter cold. He must have resented his lot in life, and in a defiant act “stood on a hilltop and cursed God” (Carlisle). However, he would regret this act and come to believe that in response to his impiousness, God had cursed him and would take “the lives of all seven of his children before they reached the age of 34 (the age of Jesus Christ at his crucifixion)” (McDonald). All but two of his children (Peter and Søren) indeed died before the age of 34. Being fully aware of this perceived curse, Søren Kierkegaard’s own anxiety would strike him like a whip and drive him, from a young age, to find his purpose in life and become accomplished, before the age of 34 (McDonald). While many people may not be anxiously pursued by a perceived god-curse, they still suffer a similar angst in endeavoring to understand their place in life. Thankfully because of Søren Kierkegaard’s suffering and his quest to be the Christian Socrates, those who read his works may find answers in their pursuit to grow through anxiety and onward to the “possibility of freedom” (Kierkegaard 196).

Born on May 5, 1813, in Copenhagen, Kierkegaard’s unease grew strong as a young boy. He “looked up at his stern father with fear and trembling,” and one time he observed “the anxiety with which my father filled my soul, his own frightful melancholy, the many things in this connection that I cannot even write down” (Carlisle). By the age of 17, he entered the university at Copenhagen, and for the next eleven years would laboriously study, anxiously seek his meaning in life, waffle back and forth with marriage and then finally defend his dissertation in 1841 (McDonald). It was during these years his anxiety deepened, especially regarding his securing his true aim in life. He wrote,

What I really need is to get clear about what I must do, not what I must know, except insofar as knowledge must precede every act. What matters is to find a purpose, to see what it really is that God wills I shall do; the crucial thing is to find a truth that is true for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die” (Carlisle).

In the final year of university, he proposed to Regine Olsen, and she consented. However, in his search to find his purpose in life, he came to realize that he could not marry Regine. While there appears to be no explicit reason for backing out of the proposal, there does seem to be some indication that the calling of becoming “the Socrates of Christendom” had a stronger sway on him, and in that role, he could “not subject Regine” to the life of his “philosophical task” (Carlisle).

For the next fourteen years until his death on November 11, 1855, Kierkegaard would write profusely and leverage various writing methods such as pseudonyms, “irony, parody, satire, humor, and deconstructive techniques” in order to awaken Christians out of their intellectual ruts and routines (McDonald). Like an unremitting horsefly, Kierkegaard “constantly [irritated] his contemporaries with discomforting thoughts” to force them “to take individual responsibility for knowing who they are and for knowing where they stand on the existential, ethical and religious issues” (McDonald). This discomfort was the initial stage of prodding his readers and fellow-Christians into a state of anxiety.

Anxiety is the soil for growth and possibility. “Kierkegaard sees man as the creature who is continually beckoned by possibility, who conceives of possibility, visualizes it, and by creative activity carries it into actuality” (May 39). In this mindset of possibility, man experiences more anxiety. But in order to achieve freedom, the individual must “confront that anxiety and move ahead despite it” (41). Yet in that moment of intending to “move ahead,” the individual “at the same time wishes not” to move ahead (42). The choice to press on is the hallmark of a healthy individual, while the unhealthy person remains “shut-in” (42). Another obstacle for a person to overcome is the “belief in fate” (44).

Regarding fate, Kierkegaard wrote that it “is the unity of necessity and the accidental” (Kierkegaard 96). Consequently, when one accepts the belief of fate, “the full meaning of anxiety and guilt are not felt” (May 44). And because of the lack of anxiety, “fate sets limits on creativity” and for the “creative genius” to attain success, he must move “through anxiety and guilt” (44). Indeed, one must embrace the anxiety one feels and treat it like a painful prescription from a doctor.

By having an open mind and welcoming possibilities, one must view anxiety as medical treatment that is painful. To achieve what one imagines, one must pay the price to be healed. This dreadful remedy reveals to him his existence, and his “human situation … [and] the fact of death” (46). However, one must not shirk the procedure. Kierkegaard reminds us to be like Socrates, who, when faced with the hemlock did so “as a patient [who] says to the surgeon when a painful operation is about to begin, ‘Now I am ready.’ Then anxiety enters his soul and searches it thoroughly, constraining out of him all the finite and petty, and leading him hence whither he would go” (46).

In conclusion, Kierkegaard’s life, from his childhood to his lived experience, to his voluminous writings, was a life of educational angst. While his father and his momentary fiancé provided him much consternation, he nonetheless confronted these and all his anxieties – including searching and securing his true aim in life: becoming the Christian Socrates. Once secure in his unique objective in life, he leveraged many techniques to induce discomfort and anxiety in his readers. And if his readers embrace this anxiety, as did Kierkegaard, then their obstacle becomes the path toward the possibility of freedom and meaning. In sum, anxiety is “an adventure that every human being must go through – to learn to be anxious so that he may not perish either by never having been in anxiety, or by succumbing in anxiety” (Kierkegaard 155). 

Works Cited

Carlisle, Clare. Philosopher of the Heart. E-book ed., Penguin UK, 2019.

Kierkegaard, Søren. The Concept of Anxiety : A Simple Psychologically Orienting Deliberation on the Dogmatic Issue of Hereditary Sin. Translated by Reidar Thomte and Albert Anderson, Princeton University Press, 1980.

May, Ph.D., Rollo. The Meaning Of Anxiety, Hauraki Publishing, 2015. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/apus/detail.action?docID=4808629.

McDonald, William. “Søren Kierkegaard (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy).” Stanford.edu, 2017, plato.stanford.edu/entries/kierkegaard/.

Letters from a Stoic 42 - On Values

On Values

This letter resonates deeply with me.  I'm in my mid-40's as I write this commentary.  Over half my career is behind me.  Many people experience what is called a mid-life crisis at this age.  I think it stems from the fact that one feels the pressing weight of time beginning to bear down on them.  And if they've not achieved their goals which they've set for themselves while they were in their 20's, they begin to feel they have a chance to start over and accomplish them.  Some wish to re-gain their youthful vigor through exercise regimens, plastic surgery or new friends, while others strive to preserve what they already gained.  Regardless the approach, the one common denominator is time.  The older one gets, the more acutely aware he is of this precious commodity.  Seneca discusses time and other important values, which too many of us trade cheaply.

But before we get to that, Seneca starts off the letter by warning Lucilius of people who say they are good men.  This is a red flag.  He observes:

it is impossible in so short a time for one either to become good or be known as such. ...  if he knew what it meant to be "a good man," he would not yet believe himself such ... In the case of many men, their vices, being powerless, escape notice ... These men simply lack the means whereby they may unfold their wickedness.

Therefore, be weary of people who say they are good and to 'follow me.'  The truly good man is exceptionally rare.  I presume Seneca is referring to the sage, and that sages are as rare as the phoenix.

For one of the first class perhaps springs into existence, like the phoenix, only once in five hundred years. And it is not surprising, either, that greatness develops only at long intervals; Fortune often brings into being commonplace powers, which are born to please the mob; but she holds up for our approval that which is extraordinary by the very fact that she makes it rare.

In the second half of the letter, Seneca analyzes value.  Have you thought about this?  What do we value and how do we value it?

Just the other night, the world observed Saturn and Jupiter align almost perfectly, making the appearance of a 'new star.'  Honestly, it wasn't much to behold if you are used to seeing the night sky - all the celestial bodies are simply glittering lights in the dark sky.  But because these two planets had not aligned like this for 800 years, people were awash with anxiety to see it.  If you missed it, and you're fairly young, don't worry; you'll see them this close in the year 2080.

But what about with regard to the indifferents we pursue in life?  Are there hidden costs?  Do we not see the other values lost when we pursue them?

with regard to the objects which we pursue, and for which we strive with great effort, we should note this truth; either there is nothing desirable in them, or the undesirable is preponderant. Some objects are superfluous; others are not worth the price we pay for them. But we do not see this clearly, and we regard things as free gifts when they really cost us very dear.

Don't think of 'buying' only in terms of hard cash.  Rather, think of the aspects of your very self that you spend in pursuit of objects.

we are eager to attain them at the cost of anxiety, of danger, and of lost honour, personal freedom, and time; so true it is that each man regards nothing as cheaper than himself.

This is where I worry most at my age.  It feels as though I'm constantly analyzing the cost-benefit analysis of all my activities.  Am I really getting benefit out of this activity?  Is this work useful and a wise expenditure of time?  Am I wasting away myself in a certain pursuit?

There was a time, when I was younger, when I would never leave a meeting until it ended.  But now, when I think of all the work I have to accomplish and the time wasted by people blathering on about nothing important, I feel the sting of time slipping out of my hands.  Sometimes I do quietly leave a meeting and never regret it.  But I also feel the sting of broken relationships.  These are largely built on time; simply talking and getting familiar with each other.  Therefore, I have to find a balance.

I think the key point Seneca is trying to make, is for each of us to consider our time, anxiety, danger, honor and freedom when we are deciding how to live.  I've focused a lot on time, as I think it is the most precious.  But we can also consider freedom, which is closely related to time.

Consider a person who moves upwards through the corporate ranks and acquires wealth, expensive cars, prestige, a large home, a vacation home and so forth.  At some point, they have really acquired golden handcuffs.  At some point, they lose real freedom.  They don't have much say in the matter of how they spend their time.  Their choices are limited and they are no better off than a slave.

Have you ever seen the couple who has so much wealth, that the children expect it to be given to them?  The children's growth is stunted as they've been given everything.  The parents begin to resent their children who won't stand on their own, as the kids hold out their hands for more.  The whole relationship is a sad state of affairs.

I believe there is a medium that many can achieve.  We don't have to be paupers or slaves.  But we also don't have to be executives.  We can also help our kids holistically by striving for wisdom, rather than ease.

Seneca offers some advice when deciding if our very selves are worth the expense.  We should be stingy with our time as if we were stingy with our money if a "huckster" approached us trying to sell us something.

Let us therefore act, in all our plans and conduct, just as we are accustomed to act whenever we approach a huckster who has certain wares for sale; let us see how much we must pay for that which we crave. Very often the things that cost nothing cost us the most heavily; I can show you many objects the quest and acquisition of which have wrested freedom from our hands. We should belong to ourselves, if only these things did not belong to us.

The same goes for things that we may lose!  If we lose money, or home, or other possessions, we should also not spend our anxiety or time by wringing our hands over a loss.  There is always a silver lining to look for, if you but look.  If you lose money, then you will have less worry; if you lose influence, you will have less envy.

Look about you and note the things that drive us mad, which we lose with a flood of tears; you will perceive that it is not the loss that troubles us with reference to these things, but a notion of loss. No one feels that they have been lost, but his mind tells him that it has been so. He that owns himself has lost nothing. But how few men are blessed with ownership of self!

Letters from a Stoic 13 - On Groundless Fears

On Groundless Fears

Not everyone does it, but there are many who catastrophize things.  We may think the worst is going to happen, that we are going to die young, or our child will be mangled to death in a car wreck, or we'll contract the corona virus while shopping or that our child will be kidnapped while walking to school.

It's exhausting; thinking of all the possible things that could end up happening to us or our loved ones.  But the truth is, we are all dead in the end anyway.  Which is why, I think, the Stoics advocated practicing memento mori.  If you can get comfortable with death, then everything else should be a bit easier to deal with, emotionally speaking, and you can get on with life.

And once you get on with life and start taking your licks, you can begin to be truly tested and learn from adversity.

It is only in this way that the true spirit can be tested, – the spirit that will never consent to come under the jurisdiction of things external to ourselves.  This is the touchstone of such a spirit; no prizefighter can go with high spirits into the strife if he has never been beaten black and blue; the only contestant who can confidently enter the lists is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent's fist, who has been tripped and felt the full force of his adversary's charge, who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, as often as he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever.

Besides, even if you decide to engage in doubting and fear-mongering about your future and thinking the worst might happen, vastly more often than not, the worst you feared does not come to pass.

There are more things likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. ... some things torment us more than they ought; some torment us before they ought; and some torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit of exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow.

Since I am prone to catastrophizing things, I've made it a habit to note, every day, the worst things that could happen.  Sometimes I write down things that might happen that very day and other times I write down things that may happen at any time or far into the future.  Then at the end of the day, I make sure to ask myself if the catastrophe happened.  So far, the catastrophes I've dreamt of have not happened.

On some of the catastrophes I think if, I will pivot into a premeditatio malorum and assume that they legitimately will happen.  I then let my mind process the emotions and then I begin to think of the wise reaction.  From there, I outline the next few actions I would take.

Often, especially in today's uber-safetyism society, we allow ourselves to be carried away with fear and panic, when it is not warranted.  In the 1990s, when I was in high school, the fear of children being kidnapped was exceptionally high.  I remember when every kid I knew, would often wander my city, on his or her bike, with no adult supervision.  We would be gone for hours and hours, before returning home in time for dinner.  But then that all changed with the introduction of John Walsh's crusade, after his son was kidnapped and murdered.  Every kid who grew up in the 1980s and 90s remembers the pictures of kids on milk cartons.

Eventually, parents everywhere, were uber-cautious about letting their child walk or ride their bike alone.  Kids were told to walk in packs and never to take candy from strangers.  To be sure, all of these are wise practices.  But have parents gone too far?  Have they, for the sake of safety, not allowed their kids to spend hours and hours outside, playing and riding bikes?

Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff, think we have let safetyism (another form of catastrophizing) run amok.  Consider this passage on kidnapping statistics:

The abduction and murder of a child by a stranger is among the most horrific crimes one can imagine. It is also, thankfully, among the rarest. According to the FBI, almost 90% of children who go missing have either miscommunicated their plans, misunderstood directions, or run away from home or foster care, and 99.8% of the time, missing children come home. The vast majority of those who are abducted are taken by a biological parent who does not have custody; the number abducted by a stranger is a tiny fraction of 1% of children reported missing—roughly one hundred children per year in a nation with more than 70 million minors. And since the 1990s, the rates of all crimes against children have gone down, while the chances of a kidnapped child surviving the ordeal have gone up. (Haidt, Lukianoff, The Coddling of the American Mind, in the section entitled "A Parent's Worst Fear")

After I read the above paragraph, I was in a state of shock about how astronomically over-protective and worried I've been with my kids!  There are far many more things to be worried about than having my child be kidnapped.

At the time of this writing (August 2020), America and the world are in the grip of fear about the corona virus.  So much is not known about the virus and people are so fearful of death, that we have effectively shutdown society.  Many wonder if we have over-reacted.  Just yesterday, I pulled the statistics on COVID-19 deaths and found that the vast majority of deaths related to COVID-19, occur in people who have retired.  Well over 95% of the deaths are age 55 and older.  The younger a person is, the death-rate drops off significantly.  Yet, we act as though the virus is killing both the old and young on a grand scale.  We have not heeded the advice of Seneca.

Yes, my dear Lucilius; we agree too quickly with what people say. We do not put to the test those things which cause our fear; we do not examine into them; we blench and retreat just like soldiers who are forced to abandon their camp because of a dust-cloud raised by stampeding cattle, or are thrown into a panic by the spreading of some unauthenticated rumour. ... that which arises from uncertainty is delivered over to guesswork and the irresponsible license of a frightened mind. That is why no fear is so ruinous and so uncontrollable as panic fear. For other fears are groundless, but this fear is witless.

Seneca goes so far as to argue, "life is not worth living, if we indulge our fears to the greatest possible extent."  Many senior citizens I've talked to, have said as much.  Sitting in a locked-down home and city and state and world is no way to live.  While temporary lockdowns may be prudent, the seemingly endless threats of lockdowns and shutting of stores and economies makes monks of us all.  While sad, I was yet impressed with a recent headline of a loving couple who refused to be separated in the twilight of their years.  She contracted corona virus and was quarantined, yet he was told to stay away.  He refused, and spent time with his bride.  He too contracted COVID-19 and they both died.  From a news article, their daughter is quoted, “he knew the risks,” she said. “There wasn’t anything any of us could have done to have talked him out of that. He would have gotten himself there one way or the other to see her. I do believe that.”

Now, lest you think I'm a cold-hearted bastard who cares nothing of life - I agree that we need to socially distance ourselves where appropriate; that we should wear masks where appropriate; that we should follow guidance where and when it is wise.  But we need to be mindful of over-doing the fear and anxiety.

Accordingly, weigh carefully your hopes as well as your fears, and whenever all the elements are in doubt, decide in your own favour; believe what you prefer. And if fear wins a majority of the votes, incline in the other direction anyhow, and cease to harass your soul, reflecting continually that most mortals, even when no troubles are actually at hand or are certainly to be expected in the future, become excited and disquieted ... We let ourselves drift with every breeze; we are frightened at uncertainties, just as if they were certain. We observe no moderation. The slightest thing turns the scales and throws us forthwith into a panic.

And in closing, Seneca reminds us to get busy living.  It is the foolish man, who in old age is getting ready to live.  The order should be reversed.  The young man should be getting ready to live and then get on living with life.

Letters from a Stoic 11 - On the Blush of Modesty

On the Blush of Modesty

Seneca mentions several physical reactions people may have in certain situations; such as when they are speaking publicly.  These reactions may range from sweating to stammering to blushing.  He contends, that no matter what a person may try, they can never overcome these types of physical reactions.

The steadiest speaker, when before the public, often breaks into a perspiration, as if he had wearied or over-heated himself; some tremble in the knees when they rise to speak; I know of some whose teeth chatter, whose tongues falter, whose lips quiver. Training and experience can never shake off this habit; nature exerts her own power and through such a weakness makes her presence known even to the strongest.  I know that the blush, too, is a habit of this sort, spreading suddenly over the faces of the most dignified men. It is, indeed more prevalent in youth, because of the warmer blood and the sensitive countenance; nevertheless, both seasoned men and aged men are affected by it.

He later remarks that little can be done to remove these habits.

Wisdom can never remove this habit; for if she could rub out all our faults, she would be mistress of the universe. Whatever is assigned to us by the terms of our birth and the blend in our constitutions, will stick with us, no matter how hard or how long the soul may have tried to master itself. And we cannot forbid these feelings any more than we can summon them.

In the spirit of sharing and transparency, I too fall under this category of which Seneca speaks.  In today's terms, we would call it social anxiety.  During high school, I usually never got nervous in public speaking forums or in social situations, such as parties or small group meetings, even with strangers.  But sometime in college, social anxiety began to get the best of me.  One of the earliest times I recall breaking into a sweat, was during a public speaking class I was taking.  I thought it was rare and a one-off.  But as I was presented with more opportunities to speak in public, I would feel my face get flush and I would break into a sweat.

On another occasion, I was teaching small class and I invited another teacher in the room to do a demo and I felt the heat of anxiety set in.  In this case, it was winter time, the classroom heater was on, and I was wearing a long-sleeve dress shirt and tie.  Once I broke a sweat, I got more anxious and it became incredibly uncomfortable.

Over the years, I've learned to deal with it.  Preparation is very important for me.  If I can prepare mentally and practically, then I will feel more confident and the chances of a sweating-attack diminish.  Also, if I know ahead of time, that I have a big presentation, then I will be sure I don't drink much liquid.  This lessens the chance of my brow sweat-spigot turning on!  And on the occasion that I do break into a sweat, I be sure to have something with me, with which I can fan myself.  If there are others near me, I will simply comment that I feel hot, and with fanning, the sweat, and heat pass and things return to normal.

I've since learned that there are some genetic factors to this.  Some of my siblings have mentioned to me that they too suffer from the same condition.  This lends support to Seneca's idea, that as hard as you try, Nature will simply win every time.  You can't fight Nature.

Wisdom will not assure us of a remedy, or give us help against it; it comes or goes unbidden, and is a law unto itself.

Seneca's final remark, in this letter, relates to the practice of having a moral guide (a person) in your mind all the time. This someone should be a person whom you respect and look to as a good example.

Cherish some man of high character, and keep him ever before your eyes, living as if he were watching you, and ordering all your actions as if he beheld them.

Choose a master whose life, conversation, and soul-expressing face have satisfied you; picture him always to yourself as your protector or your pattern. For we must indeed have someone according to whom we may regulate our characters; you can never straighten that which is crooked unless you use a ruler.

Indeed, looking to others as an example helps a person a lot, in terms of being steady and retaining your equanimity.  Christians often teach their children the concept of "what would Jesus do?" to guide them when parents and teachers are not around to correct them.  It would seem this is another Stoic idea which Christians may have adopted.  Regardless, the idea is valid and useful.  The entirety of book 1 of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations is an exercise of looking to people who provide good examples.  Marcus was very fond of his mentors and often wrote of them so that they could be in his mind all the time.  We would all do well to think of examples of other people and carry them with us, in our minds.

Notes and What I Learned from "How to Think Like a Roman Emperor" PART 4

Get the book: How to Think Like a Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson

This is the final part of my notes on How to Think Like a Roman Emperor.  This part deals with many other psychological ailments that we put on ourselves, namely fear, anxiety, worry, anger and psychological fear and anxiety in anticipation of death.  Many of the things learned thus far can also be applied to dealing with the above.

Dealing with Fear, Anxiety and Worry

• view "misfortunes" and "obstacles" as something good ... as opportunities.  early in my career, before I knew of Stoicism, I often heard managers speak of 'change' and 'bad events' as "opportunities" and I hated that they did this!  It felt like they were just being politically correct or bull-shitting us.  Years later, and after many "unfortunate" events, I now see the wisdom of viewing these events as opportunities.  These events are going to happen independent of my will and choice.  Regardless, what I do have control over, is my attitude and perception of these events.  And if I look for ways to turn these "setbacks" to my advantage, then I begin to see "obstacles as the way forward" - I used them to my advantage.
• When Marcus Aurelius goes to war at nearly the age of 50, he did not fear it, rather "he embraced his new role completely and turned it into an opportunity to deepen his Stoic resolve." p. 191
• Perhaps you suffer from "impostor syndrome" ... now think that the most powerful man in the world had to deal with something similar.  "When he arrived in Carnuntum to take command of the legions, he was both physically frail and an absolute novice - an "old woman" of a philosopher, sneered the future usurper, Avidius Cassius.  Everyone must have questioned Marcus's competence to lead such a massive campaign."  But he persisted and became a hardened veteran.  How did he deal with this?

The Stoic Reserve Clause

• "it means undertaking any action while calmly accepting that the outcome isn't entirely under our control." p. 193
• other phrases that people use to describe the reserve clause:
• fate permitting
• God willing
• if nothing prevents me
• you need to do your best, no matter what your job or duty is, while not becoming upset with the results; it's about having a learning mindset
• it's also "the action of pursuing the common good that constitutes the virtue of justice" ... act with positive, intelligent intent p. 194
• a consuming fire mindset; no matter what is thrown at it, the fire uses the material to grow ... "Whether he meets with success or failure, he makes good use of his experience" p. 196

Anticipating and Contemplating Adversity

• one of the most important Stoic practices is contemplation of adversity or "bad" events, "Seneca calls this praemeditatio malorum" p. 198
• meditate on your exile, illness, injury, death of a loved one ... this is "stress inoculation"
• this can be done in your daily morning routine ... as you gain experience, you know things go bad; failure happens and so you can prepare for it in a number of ways
• this practice helps you gain emotional resilience which is "the long-term ability to endure stressful situations without becoming overwhelmed by them" p. 199
• the time to prepare is in times of peace and leisure

Become Familiar (used to) Adversity

• "familiarity breeds not contempt but indifference.  We can expect anxiety to abate naturally with repeated exposure, under normal conditions ... the feared situation must be experienced for considerably longer than normal for anxiety to properly habituate." p. 201
• set aside time (perhaps once a month or weekly) to contemplate catastrophic events; the key is to go deep - really think about how you would react, how you would feel - get into the moment and let it sink in deep
• "maintaining the image for long enough [time] requires considerable patience and concentration" p. 202
• Robertson aptly notes, "It's important to emphasize that any technique that involves imagining upsetting scenes should be approached with caution by individuals who suffer from mental health problems or those vulnerable to being emotionally overwhelmed, such as sufferers of panic attacks." p. 203
• Epictetus also notes that it takes time and patience when going through this practice and that you should start small, then proceed to bigger things, up to and including your own death (see Encheiridion 26)

The Inner Citadel [of peace]

• many people wish to escape the drudgery of daily life or the adversities and challenges we face by going on a vacation to a beautiful beach or mountain retreat, but this is not necessary; we can retreat to our inner citadels at any time
• "true inner peace comes from the nature of our thoughts rather than pleasant natural surroundings" p. 206
• the nature of our thoughts is in our control and we can choose to be content in any circumstance - things don't disturb us, rather it's our opinion of those things that disturbs us
• to retreat to this peace, reflect on two things:
1. Change is perpetual and eventually everything you see today will soon be gone and forgotten
2. External things cannot touch the soul, rather the disturbance actually comes from within
• in sum, Meditations 4.3.4 "The universe is change: life is judgement"

Worry Postponement

• I had never heard of the Worry Postponement technique
• Google: worry postponement and learn what it is and what resources are available
• read up more about what Robertson says of it

The Stoic Response to Anger

• "It is impossible to make men exactly as one would wish them to be; we must use them such as they are." p. 218
• "Being a Stoic clearly doesn't mean being a passive doormat.  However, the wise man will not get upset about things that lie beyond his direct control, such as other people's actions." p. 228
• Marcus greatly admired the qualities of Emperor Antoninus
• gentleness
• mildness of temperament
• patient tolerance
• never rude, overbearing or violent to people
• never lost his temper
• every case was considered calmly, methodically and consistently
• put up with those who found fault with him
• found no fault with those who treated him unfairly
• patience with those who opposed him
• remained calm when people wanted to provoke him
• If anger swells inside you, walk away; count to 10 or 100
• Ten Responses to Anger
1. Remember we are social beings; have a "fellowship" attitude; we can view others' opposition as opportunities to practice virtue / patience; at the very least, we can learn to tolerate others respectively
2. Consider others as a whole; no one is perfect, this is not the "final version" of them - they are growing and learning too; try to see things from their perspective; assume positive intent on their part; forgive them
3. No one does wrong willingly; tolerate or teach; people deserve love and respect
4. No one is perfect (including you!); if others fail, you should use it as an opportunity for self-reflection - how many times have we been imperfect?
5. You can never be certain of others' motives - give others the benefit of doubt; don't jump to negative conclusions
6. Remember life is short; we all will die; nothing lasts forever
7. People, things, events can't upset us, it is our opinions of those people, things and events that upset us!  Mind the gap!
8. Anger is counter-productive; when you are angry, you are delaying the time it takes to solve the problem at hand; it's more efficient to react to people, things, events with rational calmness and empathetic kindness ... "it often requires more effort to deal with the consequences of losing our temper that it does just to tolerate the very acts with which we're angry." p. 241  "leave the wrong with the wrongdoer"
9. Nature gave us virtue; I like to view life as a card game and I evaluate my move based on the context ... and I always have a stack of cards (virtues) to play in response to what has been played.  I can always play the "patience" card or the "teach them with kindness" card; I just need the discipline to play good cards every time!
10. It's ridiculous to expect perfection from others!  Therefore, don't be or act surprised when people do unexpected things

Death Becomes us All

• "The Stoics taught me to look death square in the eye, to tell myself with merciless honesty each day 'I am mortal,' all the while remaining in good cheer." p. 258
• "Fear of death does us more harm than death itself because it turns us into cowards, whereas death merely returns us to Nature." p. 259
• "What I spent my life learning I now see everywhere—as I turn my attention from one thing to another, all sides grant me the same vision. The universe is a single living being, with a single body and a single consciousness. Every individual mind a tiny particle of one great mind. Each living creature like a limb or organ of one great body, working together, whether they realize it or not, to bring about events in accord with one great impulse. Everything in the universe so intricately woven together, forming a single fabric and chain of events. Whereas I once saw each fragmentary part and with some effort imagined the whole, my sight is now transformed. Having let go of fear and desire forever, I can see only the whole to which every part belongs, and this appears more real to me than anything else. What I knew before, my life and opinions, seem like smoke through which I glimpsed Nature darkly." p. 264
• "The mind of the Sage is like a star or our own sun, from which purity and simplicity shine forth." p. 265 (see this tweet too)
• "Man was meant to be like this: striving his whole life with patient endurance to cultivate the pure light of wisdom within himself and allowing it to shine forth for the benefit of others." p. 266
• "Rising above indifferent things, the mind of the wise becomes a well-rounded sphere, as Empedocles used to say.  It neither overreaches itself, mingling with external things, nor shrinks away from them.  Its light spreads evenly over the world around it.  Complete in itself, smooth and round, bring and shining.  Nothing clings to its surface and no harm can touch it." p. 267 (see this tweet too)
• Get the book and read the whole last chapter!